[sakira123]

Hi,
I know it sounds weird but the fact is I am in love with my husbands best friend. The good thing about this is that he(husband's friend) doesn't know the fact that I am deeply and madly in love with him.

There are so many reasons for growing this feeling about him. I am an Indian women and now living in USA with my husband for a short period. My relationship with my husband was never too smooth. Sometimes I feel like killing him and sometimes I feel life go somewhere no one can ever find me. He drinks a lot and really irritates me almost twice in a week. Sometimes I really feel like dying being with him. Whatever may be he has the same feeling about me and he is not also happy with me.

We can't get divorced easily as its all about our family and friends. How to face them and my parents will be hurt and so many other reasons. I was working in India and after marriage I left my job to stay with my husband in US. Now everyday he says that I don't earn anything and just dependent on his money. I can't work here because my Visa don't permit me.

The point is I know his friend before our marriage. That time he was just friend to me. And then my love for my husband was reducing day by day and I feel now its finished. I feel nothing about him. Its just a so called wrong relationship. So I was falling for his friend because whenever there was a problem between my husband and me he always supported us. I mean tried to help us. He is so different and I am so scared that if I share my feelings with him he will tell my husband or he will never talk to me again.
I have no one to share my feelings with even no friend. My husband always had problem with my friends and the only guy I talk to his friend.

I don't know what should I do as I am sure I am in love with him, I fantasize him, admire him. All I want is to talk to him, share some quality time with him and someone to understand me. Someone to assure me that he is there for me.

All I want to know is how can I tell him that I love him a lot... And will he understand me or he will think I am a bad girl. I know he will never cheat with his friend. Even I don't want to but I am so alone and lonely. No job, no friend nothing... feel like empty.

Plzzzz help

[FightingBlues]

I am not an Indian woman so unfortunately I don't have an accurate cultural perspective on the situation. I am sure you are deeply afraid of the consequences that would ensue if you were to tell your family and friends about your love for another man.

What do you fear is the worse thing that could happen if you divorced your husband? Would your family disown you? Would they threaten to kill you? Would they make you feel guilty about your decision for the rest of your life? If none of this applies, then I think you have every right to get the paperwork in order and file for divorce. By the sounds of it, this is the one thing you and your husband would agree upon. Whether you are in love with another man is not the issue. Ultimately, it is your happiness that comes first. If you're unsatisfied in your marriage, you need to do the proper thing and end it before things intensify. You're putting your health and a better life for yourself at stake. If you're worried about the opinions of others, then you are not being true to yourself and you're just allowing them to dictate the rest of your life. Take control of your destiny and do the right thing for both you and your husband.

Also, before you confess your feelings for this other man, be absolutely sure he loves you back. Otherwise, not only are you letting the cat out of the bag unnecessarily, you will humiliate yourself. Also, because he is best friends with your husband he could repeat your confession to your husband! Ask yourself if that is a risk you're willing to take and just be careful in how you choose to proceed. If it is worth fighting for, then you have nothing to lose. If not, step back and reconsider your decision to follow through. You don't want to create another nightmare. Your marriage is your first concern. His best friend should come last once you weigh all your options.

[Fr_Chuck]

You are not in love with him, you are interested in him, love grows from having a relationship.

You need to stop seeing and stop talking to the friend.