[dinooo]

Hi I am 35 years old and happily married with 2 kids. My husband is talkative but I am not. And most of time he says to me you have nothing to talk. All the time you are quiet. How can I be more talkative with him?

[dontknownuthin]

Well, have something to talk about. Since you have children, that's one obvious topic. What's going on in the neighborhood, what you read that was of interest, what's going on with your friends and family, events or places you might like to plan to go, where you want to go for vacation, what movie you'd like to see - these are all things you can talk about. If you have nothing to talk about you need to make your life more interesting by pursuing some hobbies and interests.

There are even books at the library that offer conversation tips and helpful information like interesting questions to get a conversation going. It can also take the pressure off the conversation and give you more to talk about if you do active things together. For example, if you go to a movie first, then out to dinner, you can share your opinions of the movie over dinner. Choose words that mean something. For example, instead of saying a movie was good, talk about what specifically you liked about it that you felt made it good. For example, "I really think Leonardo DiCaprio was perfect for that role. And wasn't the scenery beautiful? I'd love to go somewhere like that!"

Another way to improve your conversation skills is to take an interest in what he likes to talk about. When he tells you something like "what an exhausting day!", you can follow up by asking, "what made it that way?"

I have known a few really shy people who were not much at conversation but joined Toast Masters and grew more comfortable with sharing opinions and talking to people. So, that's another option for you.

[Homegirl 50]

How long have you known each other. Were you this way before marriage and kids? What's the problem with him now?
You talk about your kids, do you two watch TV together? You can talk about the show, how about reading, do you read the same books.

[santaslilgamer]

Maybe the problem is you don't have mutual topics, read more and educate yourself, browse the web for interesting stories and funny topics. Knowledge is power and it might help you in your marriage too.

[ANGIE4124]

Being quiet is really not that bad to some talkative people. Although some prefer a responsive wife/audience, in that they are heard; acknowledged and want your opinion/ideas. Imagine the conversation on a phone; would that person be talking to himself, thin air, if they called you or would they find it tiresome and hang up?

Sure enough you can start talking about the children, but that's like talking about the weather and after awhile it shows ones limitations - boring. As suggested; there are things you can do to improve…

Now just as there are talkers; there are (quiet) listeners… Which type of listener you are depends on your level of confidence/knowledge to enter a conversation. For me; I'm quiet with informative talkative people so I can learn something; yet on the other hand I can sit quietly (up to a point) when some talkers like the sound of their own voice… If talk becomes gossipy I switch off and try to change the subject, but open up with more intelligent discussions.

I believe when you broaden your scope of interests you will then have something to talk about with your husband; giving him the turn to sit there quietly and listen to you :)

[Homegirl 50]

Two involved parents talking and laughing about their kids is not boring. Is this something he all of a sudden has a problem with?

[joypulv]

I am talkative and married a shy man. We worked at the same company for a while, but I left and he stayed. I wanted to know about the people who were mutual friends! He would say one thing about someone and I would ask 'AND WHAT DID THEY DO THEN? ' and he wouldn't know, and I tore my hair out. So I taught him how to ask questions, get the gossip, nothing awful, just friends stuff. He became more well liked by everybody after that too, I think, because he learned how to be more sociable, and he had more to talk about - sort of a snowball effect.
So ask him to teach you to be more talkative. And don't be 100% just your kids. Get out to do something with other adults. Nothing wrong with being a full time mother and housewife, but full time is 40 hours, so have more to do.