[nadeem345]

What feels when you are more educated and get insulted by those who are much younger in age and qualification than you? They bully you, they insult you, they treat you like children as the authorities give them the authorisation to do so. It happens in military institutions where Doctors and Engineers(Im an Engr employed into Mil) are inducted and those who have just passed Intermediate, insult them. It has completely demoralised me. It had such a damaging effect on my brain that I can't focus on a thing for more than few seconds. My memory is becoming weaker. I have lost almost all of my friends as I feel myself comfortable inside my own shell. I am feeling lack of confidence and I am becoming weaker and weaker. I may manage everything but I can't forget that insult which I suffered during my training. Even it is a part of past, but there come such situations in life which remind me of those days.

I got a few achievements in last few days. As I have got rid of 11 years long habit of smoking, got rid of a manipulating girlfriend. But still I am not feeling at home. Please help me out if someone is able to understand my confusing problem.

[nadeem345]

I think like this because I always have been extremely image conscious. "What will they say" kind of mentality

[dontknownuthin]

My response is that you are giving other people entirely too much power. In the military, school or workplace, you have to be very tolerant of many people, particularly if they have authority over you. They might say insulting or annoying things for a variety of reasons. They might know you are more educated, but are lower than them in the hierarchy, so put you down to make sure you "know your place". They might feel threatened by you. They might disagree that you know more. They might be competitive. They might be trying to upset you. They might want to bait you into getting upset and acting in a way that will get you in trouble.

You may also come off as a know-it-all, and arrogant. This is a possibility given how you describe yourself yourself as smarter and more educated than everyone else. Being educated does not make you more important or valuable than other people, and if you act like it does, people will have no problem insulting you back.

So, I would first of all consider the source. If your boss or commanding officer is criticizing something you do, you should listen to what they say and make the change they are requesting because, if you don't, you could face bad consequences on the job. If it's a coworker or peer in the military who has no authority over you, ignore it - it's meaningless.

Find your confidence and self image from knowing you are doing the best you can. You will find that in work, unfair things will happen to you from time to time and you will need to retain your self-esteem and move forward from those bad situations. Not arrogance, but an appropriate level of confidence. If you are being treated so badly that you are suffering anxiety, you might need to move on from your current role.

[Strength89]

In the military, civilian education is almost nothing. A civilian degree is just one thing to check off a long list when someone is interested in becoming an officer. In the military, RANK, RESPECT OF RANK, and AUTHORITY POSITIONS is what matter. It isn't always fair as there are members who DEMAND respect from their subordinates instead of earning the trust and respect through LEADERSHIP. When they are unsuccessful and realize that their demand for respect isn't working, they will abuse their power and therefore, go after their subordinates.

My advise is to pay such individuals no attention. Take their unthoughtful words and behaviors for just that, toss it over the ship, and carry on. I strongly do not believe in "ruining" such individuals as they will ruin themselves. You know what you are capable of and you, alone, has the FULL POWER to control what and who affects you negatively in life and especially in the military.

There are two types of people in the military: Those who are doing good for themselves only and those who are going good for themselves so they can help others. Selfish people in leadership positions will burn their own bridges. So, work on building your bridges to the right individuals and things will work out.