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PeterParkour · Jan 21, 2013, 10:24 PM

I've been going out with this girl for about 2 years, and she's my first love and I'm her first also. No doubt that she is my soulmate because I use to be a guy that flirts with girls a lot and hit on them but ever since I met her I have changed. I know most women reading this are saying I'm lying but I do feel that way. But I hate when everything is going good something from my shameful past comes up. We broke up once because I had an old iPod and I flirted with this girl and got a pic of her once but I have long forgotten about that and the picture was there before I met her and I didn't know it was still on, then I lent my girlfriend the iPod and then we broke up because she thought I did this while we were dating although that was long before I met her. We got back together and she says she forgives me and I feel she does but I still feel like she still doesn't. I am doing my best to prove that I have changed, I don't even talk to any other girls anymore except her and family. I don't want to lose her and I really hate my past and I need help anyone got advice?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 21, 2013, 10:33 PM

I do not believe in soul mates nor do I believe in "love" within a few weeks.

Love takes a lot of work from both parties and they have to always work to keep that love alive.

And it is not impossible to have feelings of various levels for more than one person. So depending on your age, and the such both of you have to work on this.

Yes if you were cheating or talking romance to another girl, it will change that relationship, some forever, it now has to include that event in its history and in everyone's memory.

You prove love by never doing those things again, you can not do extra now to make up for it

PeterParkour · Jan 21, 2013, 10:37 PM

Sorry

joypulv · Jan 21, 2013, 11:36 PM

All you can do is be loving now. I see nothing from what you write that you should be ashamed of. Don't go so far overboard that you resent her later on. She has to trust you or not. Cutting off all contact with other women even as friends may not be good for you. I can't tell if you are too likely to flirt still or if she is overly suspicious and jealous.

talaniman · Jan 22, 2013, 12:21 AM

I know you love this girl, but don't get carried away because she is capable of jumping to conclusions before she has the facts. Pay attention guy and don't just roll over when she gets a bug up her butt and is wrong later.

The very idea she forgives YOU when she was wrong is something you pay attention to, especially since she is still making you pay. You can never please an insecure female by letting her behavior bring you down.

If she is so insecure about your past then chances are she doesn't appreciate what she has and that's the problem. Love yes, but clearly you need to define what's acceptable. Dumping you without facts is unnacceptable.

No love is worth giving away your dignity, and self respect, and now its you who is insecure and scared. NOT GOOD.

Oliver2011 · Jan 22, 2013, 08:11 AM

How complicated is love?. Oh puhlease - you haven't seen anything yet.

Everyone has a past. You, me, her, them over there, the guy across the street, the woman giving birth right now... You both should let the past remain where it is - in the past.

I agree with Fr_Chuck in that you can't be in love instantly. You two are still getting to know each other. But by all means try to be in a drama-free relationship. Life is too short for drama.