[p235150]

So recently my girl and I where having an our day type of deal. Went to church and grabbed some lunch. While eating I snapped a picture of her and she got irritated saying she was tired and what not. Grabbed her phone and started texting. I hate that cause it's rude but I love her. So she's mad at me I can feel the vibe. We leave the restaurant. Get in the car, she turns her back to me (giving me the impression she didn't want to talk) and begins to fall asleep. I remembered her saying she was tired so I didn't bother to talk to her to apologize. Big mistake! You'll see why in a moment.

So we are driving back to get my truck so we can go our separate ways. Get to my vehicle, start it up, goes back to her... give her a kiss and say drive safe. I made it to my destination and watched the remainder of the game to take my focus off what just happened. Just so happen during the game I fell asleep and didn't wake up till the morning. Text her "good morning babe, have a nice day.Love ya." Didn't get much of a response till later. "Thanks. My day was good." Nothing else till the next day. I call her, no answer. She texted me an hour later saying hello. 5 minutes later we need to talk. I call her on my lunch break. She answers. "Hi babe," okay so the other night I went out to the bar had a few drinks and ran into this guy who was trying to get with me awhile back before you. I reply, "go ahead." We talked had a few more drinks and left. I reply, "where did you go?" With a frog in my throat. She proceeds with "his place." My heart rate picks up but my mind pauses like WTH you just say? But my mouth uttered the words "and what happened from there?" He tried to get fresh with me but I couldn't cause I thought of you. I paused with every unclean image in mind of what I can say but the forgiveness and grace in my heart caused me to respond with "are you okay?" Yes! She said, but I let you down. You don't deserve me and I can't even look you in the eye. I sighed and said okay. Well thanks for telling me. I trust you are telling me the truth but don't hang yourself.

Crying she repeats you deserve better. I respond but I chose you. She says you should go cause am scared you'll cheat on me. I told her revenge won't make this better and I don't like being bitter or a cheater. Then says she needs to go cause she's emotional. So I let her go. In this moment my emotions are high. I could he upset but at this time all I could think about was to be there for her but I knew that wouldn't help.

So days passed I talk to the people I confide in to make me cool off and get in my right mind. All I could think of was to build her up. So I sent her an inspirational text she replied "thanks. You just made me tear up. I just need some to think I'm under a lot of stress but you mean a lot to me. How do I give her space but be there for her in this tough time?

[FightingBlues]

How long have you two been dating? You may find the answers to your question to be different if you have been dating for a brief period or longterm. Also, is this the first time she has needed space? If so, maybe she is starting to recognize that what you both value and have in common is different from what she had hoped.

From what you describe about her being at another guy's place, it sounds like she clearly doesn't respect you in the way you deserve to be treated and thus when she says "you deserve someone better", she is actually saying "I know how I treat you is justifiably wrong and therefore you should move on and find someone better than me". She is showing classic signs of someone who is trying to pull out of the relationship but unsure how tackle it. That or she is testing you to see how much you love her. In any case, she shouldn't drag this on and make you wonder what this situation is REALLY about.

If she wants to stay but clearly doesn't know how to deal with her personal issues, either way it would be best for both of you if she is given the space she needs to clear the noise in her head. If she comes to her senses and realizes that she has to modify the behaviour in order to keep you, then that's exactly what she should do. If on the other hand she wants out, she should be honest with you. The sooner the better. It's unfair for someone as patient and understanding as yourself to be waiting for someone who is not as invested in the relationship as you are. You will feel worse if you continually try to "fix" someone who hasn't yet worked on themselves. Furthermore, you will feel worse if she decides to leave you cold turkey after you've waited for her to heal. The truth is, there isn't much you can do for her except tell her if she needs to talk, you won't be going anywhere. If she's mature, she will seek your help and tell you what needs to be done to keep the relationship alive. Whether you want to admit it or not, her insecurities are negatively affecting the relationship.

Being there for her doesn't necessarily mean you have to talk to her and figure out her problems. Being there for her could mean you respect her decisions about bettering herself--whether that means accepting that she will stay with you or she will move on in a different direction. Caring for her means putting her interests above yours.

Hope I helped!

[excon]

Hello p:

It's over, dude. You got the dreaded, let's be friends, speech.

excon

[talaniman]

I would give her a few days and then ask her what's up?