[Lesliekaye]

Me and my boyfreind have been going out for 4 months and I love him soooo much and I love being around him because he can be sweet and super funny and he is a people person but the thing is I have depression and it only gets really bad around 3 days a month and that's when I usually need him most but it seems that's when he gets really distant and I've tried talking to him and sone times I just need a good tight 'pull me together' hug its not like I'm asking him to constantly ask me if I'm okay but it seems like he would rather be a social butterfly and he doesent text me with all the cute things like he used to but he still greets with smiles and says I love you I'm just getting really mixed signals from him and I don't know what to do because he seems to not want to talk about it ever and I always feel as if I'm bothering him...

[Fr_Chuck]

Very likely he does not know what to do, or say,
Perhaps in your depression things are done and said that upsets him, so he would rather avoid it?
Perhaps he does more than you think but because you are depressed you don't realise it

[Lesliekaye]

But what do I do to help the situation?

[Cat1864]

May I ask how old you both are? It may help in knowing what advice is more appropriate.

First thing you do is stop making him responsible for your emotional and mental well-being.

How you handle your Depression is your responsibility. How did you handle your Depression before you started dating him? Are you getting professional help or are you trying to take care of it on your own? If you are regularly experiencing Depression at a certain time of the month, has your doctor determined if it has a connection to your hormones?

He may care about you. He may love you. But he may be more affected by your Depression than you think he is or should be. It may be three days to you, but to him the effect may be much longer.

Second, it has only been four months. I know four months can seem like forever, but in reality it is a drop of water in the ocean when it comes to a lifetime.

This is a period where you learn if you are compatible for a longer relationship. Love, at this point, is a very minor factor in whether the relationship can survive and grow. Being able to learn how to communicate and compromise are more important. If you have very different likes and dislikes or ideas of what is fun and you cannot talk with each other to find a compromise, then the relationship will probably not work out. Love can only hold it together for so long before it becomes frustration, resentment, and other negative emotions.

You need to sit down together and discuss the relationship-both the positive and the negative aspects. Try to keep the discussion calm and unemotional, but be honest with each other. Keep your minds open and listen to what each other says. Don't assume you know what the other person is going to say or what they mean. If you are confused or in doubt, ask for clarification. If the discussion starts getting overly emotional, take a break. Lighten the mood. Figure out if you are building a relationship or holding on to something that isn't working.

If it isn't working out, let it go before the negative thoughts and feelings out weigh the positive.

Good luck.

[samcreed]

If he won't talk with you when you need it the most, it's a good chance he is not really in love with you... Love means respect and caring for someone, helping them when they need you. He isn't doing that!
I would really look around and meet some new people. He is more interested in being "noticed" and selfish than caring how you feel. He is not going to give up those who make him feel important... he is too selfish. Good luck in the new year.