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LuiGi34 · Jan 15, 2013, 05:14 PM

There is this girl I like, her and I have been on a date and have slept together once. She has a 6yo son, which doesn't bother me cause I love kids, but what bothers me is she only texts/calls me when she needs a babysitter, and always has a reason to why we can't hang out. Should I keep pursuing her or just back off?

Homegirl 50 · Jan 15, 2013, 05:22 PM

Back off. You are her babysitter.

LuiGi34 · Jan 15, 2013, 05:24 PM

So do you think she only hooked up with me and stuff so I could be a reliable babysitter and nothing more?

dontknownuthin · Jan 15, 2013, 05:31 PM

Trust your gut. Always, always trust your gut in dating relationships. If you see a red flag, believe that you saw it and it's legitimate. Break up and move on, if not for yourself then because forming a relationship with someone's child when the relationship isn't developing as you'd like is really not healthy for the child.

LuiGi34 · Jan 15, 2013, 05:47 PM

That's true, I can't always think about me especially when there is a child involved. Thanks for the advice

And its not just her, with everything, I will go out of my way to help someone even when I know I'm not going to get anything out of it and honestly it puts a wear and tear on my body, time and money, but I keep doing it anyway. Why? Is there something wrong with me?

Homegirl 50 · Jan 15, 2013, 05:50 PM

You have been on a date and you slept with her once. Ever since she only contacts you when she needs a babysitter. What's that tell you?
dontknownuthin is right. You also need to think about that child.

samcreed · Jan 15, 2013, 06:21 PM

No, there is nothing wrong with you. But, I would try to "tone it down" a little. You, or no one else, can help everyone. It's great that you are willing to take your time to help others. I think that in time, you will learn to pick some to help, and leave others alone. You need to become involved in something, like work, jobs, hobbies, college studies, or whatever your age will let you. I do wish you good luck, and hope you have a great New Year.

talaniman · Jan 15, 2013, 06:48 PM

I think you are one of those guys that thinks of others more than yourself. The problem is with those who take advantage of your help. Look out for yourself fella, don't be a target for those kinds of people and learn to say NO, and mean it.

dontknownuthin · Jan 15, 2013, 07:04 PM

Please don't regret being kind, ever. When you sense someone is manipulating you or taking advantage (for example, having a half-baked relationship with you so they can impose on you to babysit), it's appropriate to say "no" and heed your gut that they aren't right for you. On the other hand, it's really gratifying to do for others who don't expect anything at all from you. It's best not to expect anything at all back.

I have a reputation among my friends as being the kind of person who will "do anything for anyone" but it's not entirely true. Twice, I've ended friendships with women who were taking advantage of me. I had big issues with a relative as well, who always seemed to think I should do for her things that she could very well do for herself.

You can be generous and thoughtful without expecting anything return, but also avoid being anyone's chump. You sound like a good guy - you'll find someone who deserves you.

LuiGi34 · Jan 15, 2013, 07:37 PM

I really appreciate everyone's advice, the problem I'm having is that I really like this girl, like I currently have a girl friend but then I met this new girl and her and I just clicked really well. She asked me to babysit tonight so she can go into work and I told her I couldn't, I feel really bad for saying no, cause I know she needs the money. (thanks again for the advice everyone, I thinks its funny, I can go to war and deal with getting shot at, fellow Marines getting hurt, and everything war has to offer but when it comes to girls and feelings I have no clue, so again I really appreciate everyone's advice)