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chiquita · Mar 23, 2007, 12:23 PM

My boyfriend dumped me out of the blue after 8 years. He said he had fallen in love in 2 weeks with someone else. But after some investigation I found out that his parents had put pressure on him to leave me, as we are of different religions. To add to the drama, I informed him that we were going to be parents as well. His family are really upset about this. They are constantly calling me to advise me to have an abortion as it is best for everyone. My ex, also does the same. He constantly calls me to find out how I am doing and my decision in regards to terminating the pregnancy. Our conversations always end in anger with me informing him I don't believe in terminating a life. His reply to me is that he doesn't want me and will not support the child. Then why does he call? How can a working 26 year old man be so controlled by his family!!

Lowtax4eva · Mar 23, 2007, 12:29 PM

Oh it's possible, I have a friend that works from home, his parents home. His parents are still together but the dad works in another city and both parents want him to be home so his mom isn't lonely or uncomfortable being in a home alone.

It's just a matter of how they were raised, if they always had parents involved in every aspect of their lives it's harder for them to make decisions on their own especially making a decision that the parents don't agree with and they are easily swayed to see things the parents way. He will eventually form his own opinions and life but it may take a few more years.

talaniman · Mar 23, 2007, 01:15 PM

Not good, Stand your ground and do whatever it takes to bring a healthy child into the world. Whether they help out is up to them but I have to say you sure picked one. Focus on the child right now as that's the first priority.

ordinaryguy · Mar 23, 2007, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by chiquita

His reply to me is that he doesn't want me and will not support the child.

It's not up to him whether he will support his child or not. It's the law, and it can be enforced as long as you know your rights and insist on them. You can't make him want you or the child, but if you want the child and are willing to take him to court, he can be forced to provide financial support. Do what you have to do.

shygrneyzs · Mar 23, 2007, 03:46 PM

His parents never said anything in the previous eight years about the differences in religion? But now they profess to be disturbed by that. I would doubt that is the basis of their problem. If you were not pregnant, I would bet that everything would still be fine with them. But who knows.

You have a greater task ahead of you now. If you do not believe in abortion, then by all means, do not have one, just to please a boyfriend and his parents. If they cannot be mature enough to handle this situation, then they can leave you alone. Your boyfriend will be paying child support from birth until that child is at least 18 or 19, or longer, depending on if your child attends college.

Don't feel bad about going after child support - it is owed to your child, rightfully and legally. You are going to have a tough enough time. Hope you have checked on other programs that are out there like WIC. Good luck to you.