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    LadyBeckstah4's Avatar
    LadyBeckstah4 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 13, 2013, 02:16 PM
    I don't feel a spark, can my feelings grow?
    Please help me. I'm going to try to articulate this as well as I can. I have been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks. In my opinion- he is gorgeous. We have so much common, he has what I'm looking for in a partner- kind, educated, ambitious, good sense of humour etc. We've had sex and it was wonderfully intimate.

    My problem is that I don't feel any spark or electricity. I don't get excited when he texts me or at the thought of seeing him. I don't get warm fuzzy feelings when I think about him as I always have in the honeymoon period. What I do feel is sick with anxiety that I don't really like him but an hanging OB because I don't think I'll get someone who ticks so many boxes again or because I'm scared to be alone or see him with someone else.

    My question really is- should I let go because my gut is telling me he's not who I want, or should I give the chemistry a chance to grow as we have so many other things going for us? Please please help me.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jan 13, 2013, 03:24 PM
    Why can't you just date to have fun and not have to be bothered by all that other stuff you are looking for in a mate for life or whatever? Its only been a few weeks, I mean how much can that establish especially after having sex already?

    Date others too, and maybe you get some insights into yourself. What happened to the unchallenging intellectual guy? Is this your first or only dating experience since him? Not every date leads to romance, and not every romance lead to love, and not every love is meant to be forever.

    Dating is just fun for the now and the rest will be seen later.
    LadyBeckstah4's Avatar
    LadyBeckstah4 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 13, 2013, 03:35 PM
    It's extremely rare that I'm attracted enough to someone to date them, this is only the second time.

    I am struggling to relax and just have fun because I've never been seeing someone where I don't feel an instant spark, so when he texts me or we speak on the phone and I don't feel anything it worries me I guess.

    We only slept together for the first time yesterday and I normally get very attached after such an occurrence but today I feel nothing except anxiety over whether I really like him or not.
    LadyBeckstah4's Avatar
    LadyBeckstah4 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jan 14, 2013, 06:20 PM
    This is just for anyone that has this problem. There's a reason I can't just relax and have fun, I sought professional help and it seems I have something for relationship obsessive compulsive disorder. ROCD. This is the reason why as little as last week I felt completely connected to him, whereas today I strangely feel absolutely nothing.

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