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MonicaLynne · Jan 11, 2013, 01:05 PM

July 2012 I had my son arrest for assaulting me - causing injury, which required a trip to the emergency room (this violent behavior was going on for a whole year prior to me FINALLY having him arrested. Long story short - he was charged with domestic violence, vandalism and resisting arrest. When I went to his first court hearing I was asked if I wanted him home - I said that I did not feel safe having him at home. The court ordered DCYF to take custody of him, told me that they would provide services for him (counseling, anger management, etc.). To this day I am SACRED to be around him, but the DCFY guy seems like think that it’s been enough time and I should allow my son to move back home. Its being put to me that I start to work on getting him back home or I will be charged with neglect. My questions: Is it legal for DCFY to force me to have my son come back? My fears don’t count for anything? I feel I’m being bullied – either take an abusive son or go to jail – that can’t be right? If I get charged with neglect is that an automatic jail sentence? Because I’m at the point right now where I would rather go to jail than live in fear!

Oliver2011 · Jan 11, 2013, 01:47 PM

Have you been visiting him or has he done weekend visits at home? This should be arranged before just sending him back.

Have you sat with him to review the ground rules about coming home? Bedtimes, chores, general house rules, consequences, and don't forget you have to praise him for the things he does well?

Also what steps have you done to improve your parenting skills? I am not saying this to be mean - we all could use the help parenting. Sometimes parents get too caught up in the child's negative behavior that we aren't looking for the positives anymore?

JudyKayTee · Jan 11, 2013, 02:04 PM

This is posted on the legal boards and I believe your question is whether any agency can force you to allow your child to return to your home. In general the answer is "no." I do know that in some States you have to go to Court and have the child declared in need of supervision and/or terminate your parental connection.

I would not allow anyone to force me to allow someone I fear into my home, and that includes children.

Have you discussed this with an Attorney? If not, I would.

I, of course, am sorry you're in this situation, but, no, you cannot be forced to allow the child to return IF you take the appropriate legal steps. You cannot simply "throw" an underage person into the streets; you can ask for the Court's intervention to remove your responsibilities to the child.

ScottGem · Jan 11, 2013, 02:25 PM

From a legal standpoint DCYF can evaluate your son and they can issue a determination that they do not believe him a danger anymore. If they issue such a determination, they can force you to take responsibility for him.

You can fight it by having him examined by your own experts to dispute DCYF. But if you can't convince a judge that he is still a danger, you can be required to accept him back.