[eddie5498]

My boyfriend , now ex since new year returned from egypt after a week away with his so called ex. Bought me a present for xmas, text me every other day saying he was missing me and bought tickets for us to go out on new year.

On return he explained that they did not have sex and that there may as well have been a board in the middle of the bed. That they did their own thing.

I didn't get chance to say how I felt so when I got into bed said what I thought but after drink and it didn't go down well , now haven't heard from him .

I said he should have cancelled it and that I didn't want to know about them being in the same bed and it was bad enough without him rubbing salt in the wound and that he couldn't win when he was texting me whilst being away as telling me it wa 27 degrees and he was glad it was raining here just made me feel even worse about him going .

We discussed thailand where he is going in 2 weeks and I said that was more of a worry as being a nurse I know of people who have hiv from one visit .

We made it up seemingly and had arranged to go out this weekend and he asked me if I was going to dump him and then cried about his children whom he misses.

I text to see if he was OK on new years day and he hasn't replied so I have left it alone .

Was I wrong to go on about it and is it the cause of the split ?

[odinn7]

I remember your original question about him leaving for this trip.

In my opinion, he was wrong on many levels. The final part of it being that he felt he needed to tell you how he slept in the same bed with her. Fine, some may say that at least he was being honest about it... yeah, yeah... but after all you're already worried about, I don't think he needed to add that as well.

Personally, I think you made the right choice. I think you were having trust issues with him to begin with so who wants to go through life like that? I wouldn't. I think you had a gut feeling and went with it and you were probably right to do so.

At the very least, the man didn't really take your concerns or feelings into consideration and seemed to be worried more about himself. Who needs someone like that in their life? You could do better and I'm sure you will if you give yourself a chance.

[smoothy]

He was an ex for a reason... a leopard can't change its spots... neither can he... and you should know enough to know not to expect it.

In fact you know what he's like... what he's done.. and you know to expect more of it...

So knowing that... why do you go back for more?

[eddie5498]

Yes, think I have been more upset at myself for going back for more on new years eve as I had already pulled the plug on it a bit before he went away by not sleeping with him the night before he went. I am feeling better about going off at him in terms of I think it was justified now and he probably deserved it .

By his own admission he said he was self centred and the first answer I have thought myself , his own interests are paramount to other peoples feelings , ofte the sign of a womaniser.

I won't contact him and if he ever does me I will be over it by then and seen the light . I only tried this daing business over the last three or four years and each time you get stronger despite making the same errors instedof walking sooner , but you tr to gie someone the benefit of the doubt until proven wrong completely as I don't trust and have a cynical mind at best . Thanks to both for your opinions .

[joypulv]

I agree with you and all the others.
It will be painful for a while, but you got out with yourself respect, I think. And he might even learn something.