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    tdevin61's Avatar
    tdevin61 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 25, 2012, 02:00 PM
    Do not know how to stop talking to an ex
    I've been with this guy for two years. Our relationship did not start good nor has it become any better. We would be together and then end our relationship for awhile and then get back together. Before we broke up for the first time we both were unfaithful to each other. I was tired of it and I looked for several ways to just get over him. Eventually I started talking to another guy and that helped tremendously. I saw how much it hurt my ex but I told him that I needed to move on.

    While I was in a different relationship my ex would message me telling me how much he missed me and that he is going to change. I knew I was over him and the only thing that worried me was that he was not going to find someone to spend the rest of his life with and grow up alone and I would encourage him to start dating. A few months passed by and the new relationship I was in did not work out. I was enjoying my time when I had only myself to think about but my ex soon found out that I was single. That's when he became really persistent with askinge to come back to him. I told him I would not mind just being his friend and help him in any way possible. I was confident that my feelings for him were gone and that we could become good friends.

    After a month my feelings came back. So we ended up being in a relationship again. I was hoping that he changed but he didn't. He was unfaithful and he did nothing to help me trust him. I showed him and did everything I could do to show him that he could trust me but he did not do anything in return. I then started to stand my ground more and tell him how I felt when he would do something I did not like. That's when the relationship began to get worse. I would try to explain to him how I felt and told him that I know that he knows what he is doing is wrong and that its really immature that he has an excuse for everything. I've told him that I want to end this whole relationship between us and that in doing so I am going to need to be left alone. He does not want to do that. He says he really cares for me and that its going to be difficult for him to not talk to me. I told him that its not fair and that he can't have the best of both worlds. I told him he can either stay with me or continue to sleep with others. He says he wants to be with me and that he will change but that it will take some time. He has had two years to change and he has not done anything to try.

    I feel that he is just seeing how much he can get away with and I am just tired of it. I do not know what to do and I need some guidance. This guy makes me crazy. I've done a lot for him and in doing so I just got screwed. I have almost failed two semesters of school because I was stupid and would choose to put him first. I have lost several relationships with some friends because I never trusted in leaving my ex alone. I felt like I needed to be with my ex as much as I can so then he would not have a chance to hook-up. I have become obsessed and my friends took notice. I changed completely because of this guy and my friends do not like it. I know in the end it's my choice of what I should do.

    I need some opinions from others who could help me come up with a solution to this mess.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Dec 26, 2012, 09:33 AM
    Leave and don't look back and keep him out of your life. No more excuses of why you cannot handle your own feelings.

    Easier said than done so be aware that the easiest thing to do is nothing. That hasn't worked so far either has it?
    tdevin61's Avatar
    tdevin61 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 1, 2013, 07:01 PM
    No that has not worked either. I say that it's over and I go for a short period without messaging him. But they become really persistent and say that they know they have a problem and they want to fix it or something. How can someone just stop all communication with someone that means a lot to you?
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #4

    Jan 1, 2013, 07:21 PM
    Simple you delete the number and any other contact method. Ignore any attempt at contact. If they persist say do no contact me again.

    If they get aggressive get a restraining order.

    You cannot keep going round and round in circles like this.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    Jan 3, 2013, 10:28 AM
    As was asked on another thread you have...

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post3360104

    Are these related?
    tdevin61's Avatar
    tdevin61 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jan 3, 2013, 06:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    As was asked on another thread you have...

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post3360104

    are these related?

    No it is not

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