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catty · Mar 22, 2007, 02:05 PM

About a year ago my husband grandmother past away and during that time I was very sick with trigeminalnuralga it's a very painful nerve disorder.at the funeral there was a grandmothers pillow put into the casket with all the grandchildren names on it some was blood some was not it didn't matter who was blood or not to me or the grandmother but two children names where left off the pillow and my children are old enough to read and they seen this so after the funeral they held a luncheon and my daughter and son was upset over seeing this let alone grandma had past, so I took my daughter home my son stayed with my husband and the other two kids and now the family will not have anything to do with me or anyone in my house because they said I was rude for leaving the luncheon early and its been over a year this has been going on what do I do? I don't think I did anything wrong here my child was very upset and had good reason to be so I removed her from the situation but there are other family members that had treated grandma very badly why she was alive and they have get togethers all the time with those people but won't have anything to do with us because I left the luncheon. Some of the people that had treated grandma very badly and it just dose not make any sense to me that they will have something to do with them and not us over me not staying for the luncheon

This is my husbands family I have been with him for 10 years

vlee · Mar 22, 2007, 04:31 PM

I am sorry to hear that they treat you this way. I think you need to make it your husband's job to straighten this out. You have been family with them for 10 years! It's time your husband put his foot down and told his family that if they didn't accept you and your kids, he was finished with them! Girl I wouldn't even want to spend time with them, but I would expect my husband to stand up for me.

kellyjeff · Mar 22, 2007, 10:42 PM

Originally Posted by catty

about a year ago my husband grandmother past away and during that time i was very sick with trigeminalnuralga its a very painful nerve disorder.at the funeral there was a grandmothers pillow put into the casket with all the grandchildren names on it some was blood some was not it didnt matter who was blood or not to me or the grandmother but two children names where left off the pillow and my children are old enough to read and they seen this so after the funeral they held a luncheon and my daughter and son was upset over seeing this let alone grandma had past, so i took my daughter home my son stayed with my husband and the other two kids and now the family will not have anything to do with me or anyone in my house because they said i was rude for leaving the luncheon early and its been over a year this has been going on what do i do? i dont think i did anything wrong here my child was very upset and had good reason to be so i removed her from the situation but there are other family members that had treated grandma very badly why she was alive and they have get togethers all the time with those people but won't have anything to do with us because i left the luncheon. some of the people that had treated grandma very badly and it just dose not make any sense to me that they will have something to do with them and not us over me not staying for the luncheon

this is my husbands family i have been with him for 10 years

I have pretty much the same problem well I don't know maybe I just need some one to talk to about sucky parent

catty · Mar 23, 2007, 12:56 PM

Originally Posted by kellyjeff

i have pretty much the same problem well i dont know maybe i just need some one to talk to about sucky parent

I don't know what to do either I have been around this family this family for 18 years . I'm sorry about your problems when ever you want to talk I'm here :) it sucks to have this in anyone's life its depressing

catty · Mar 23, 2007, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by vlee

I am sorry to hear that they treat you this way. I think you need to make it your husband's job to straighten this out. You have been family with them for 10 years! It's time your husband put his foot down and told his family that if they didn't accept you and your kids, he was finished with them! Girl I wouldn't even want to spend time with them, but I would expect my husband to stand up for me.

He has tried to talk to them I guess they really don't know what the meaning of family.
Family as far as I'm concern stay together and lift each other up not rip them apart and be there no matter what
The one family member that put the pillow in there he is the son to the grandmother and he and his wife are the ones that did that with the pillow!! Before grandma died she had told me she didn't even have a son anymore because of his wife. I guess I can look at it this way when I put my head down to sleep I know I was OK with grandma did what she asked me to do and was there for her and I'm married into this family. Just very sad that my family here cannot even be around family because they are still mad

Thanks for responding to my letter

JoeCanada76 · Mar 23, 2007, 11:24 PM

Best thing is to focus on your immediate family. Your husband and children. For those who ignore you and cause trouble because of a situation that was not in your control. These are the very people who are acting childish. Now think about this for a minute. Knowing what these people are like why would you want to be around them anyway? NO CONTACT. It will be healthier for you and your child and husband. Although this is your husbands family he needs to make that call on his own.

I would say if you try your best to socialize with these people who are nasty your only going to feel worse and more miserable. I would say you should be thankful that they are not including you because it would be more trouble anyway.

It is all in how you think about each situation. Remember that. Think you should be thankful your not included. THis should be a positive situaiton for you not a negative.

Joe

catty · Mar 24, 2007, 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Best thing is to focus on your immediate family. Your husband and children. For those who ignore you and cause trouble because of a situation that was not in your control. These are the very people who are acting childish. Now think about this for a minute. Knowing what these people are like why would you want to be around them anyway? NO CONTACT. It will be healthier for you and your child and husband. Although this is your husbands family he needs to make that call on his own.

I would say if you try your best to socialize with these people who are nasty your only going to feel worse and more miserable. I would say you should be thankful that they are not including you because it would be more trouble anyway.

It is all in how you think about each situation. Remember that. Think you should be thankful your not included. THis should be a positive situaiton for you not a negative.

Joe

I think so for my family we are better off its my husband and children that miss them
And its not fair to them that they treat them like that ,they didn't do anything and I didn't do anything. I don't know what to do to make them feel better ,what do you think I should do to help them?

JoeCanada76 · Mar 24, 2007, 07:44 AM

Your children and husband should understand that your own family is happier with out them. My wife had lots and lots of problems with some of her family members, especially her mother and sister. Her sister seems like she is making an effort to change and be a good influence. The mother has been nothing but trouble. My wife was so torn for so so long but the grief was not worth it. Even though it was her mother. She realizes that she is better off without, even though it might be hurtful. My son, is so young that he will not miss somebody that is not there.

You and your husband need to sit together and talk things out. I think without bad mouthing anybody I think it is best that you try your best, including your husband and do your best to let them know that they did nothing and that we need to focus on each other and our family and to make sure that we do our best to remain happy and be thankful for the time we have with each other is most important. It is nice to have others outside of the family but sometimes we can not control how family or other people act or treat others. I am not sure how old your children are so you need to be able to explain things better. Your husband needs to be a willing partner as well. Even though it may be hard.

Joe