[wingsfan]

Hi there,

So my situation is definitely a mess. I'm a 31 year old relatively successful decent looking guy. I've always been extremely confident in myself and I'm typically a very strong person who doesn't rattle easily. I learned that my wife of several years had an affair on me years ago, and since then things have been "ice cold" between us. We have for the most part separated and are taking time apart, however we are not divorced.

A few months ago I met a female friend who really seemed to get me. She and I became very quick very close, and what was at first an emotional relationship became a physical one. We were very quick to fall for each other. She was clear early on she only wanted a physical relationship, but the signs of her wanting to meet my son among other things, started to suggest an interest in something much more serious.

Around thanksgiving time she traveled to visit family out of state, which happens to be where an ex-boyfriend of hers lives. After a three day trip she came back and was very distant and decided to cut off the physical aspect of the relationship entirely. She admits to me she is in love with her ex and now plans on moving out to be with him.

Unfortunately for me, I was friends with her first and a small part of me wants to be a part of her life still, but a bigger part of me really misses what we had... it was magic, and ever since we've been fighting a lot, and she just doesn't seem to care at all. I find myself in this vicious cycle of trying to buy her things and doing nice things for her simply to make her happy, but I realize that makes me appear weak and almost like a puppy dog. I've become this sad sack that is scraping for a piece of what we used to have.

Should I keep fighting to see if we find it? Or should I run like hell and never look back?

[jazzas]

Move on mate,plenty more fish

[talaniman]

I think maybe accepting the deteriorating relationship has become unhealthy and putting a formal end to it is the wiser course of action and focusing on a looming divorce to get all your affairs in better order.

Sorry things have not been smooth in your love life but you have to learn to cut the strings of emotional dependence and make your own way.

[wingsfan]

Appreciate the input, subconsciously I've known the right thing to do is cut ties with this girl and run... but its still a difficult and emotional decision to make.