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    pratapshobha's Avatar
    pratapshobha Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 23, 2012, 08:57 PM
    Need help getting over lost love
    I'm in love with a guy of my caste.I told this to my parents they accepted but the problem is ,guy's parents are against this because they already found a girl for him.If they would have not found that girl they surely would have said yes for our marrieg... he loves me a lot. I can not get a guy like him.but he can not go against his parents wish & I too don't want him to go.. but I can not leave him also.. he wants us to be friend now for ever.. according to him relation does not require a tag... but what should I do?? I can not think of other guy.. plz help me..
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #2

    Dec 23, 2012, 09:54 PM
    If he will not say 'no' to his parents and at least try to explain what he wants, then all you can do is go on with your life.

    I know that seems easier said than done. I will be very honest about healing and moving forward takes time and being patient with yourself. You can take steps to help yourself and lessen the pain and confusion which come with breaking up.

    Break off all contact with him. Do not contact him and do not accept contact from him. If you should see him, be polite but do not encourage conversation. If you need to exchange personal items, ask a friend to drop off his things and pick up yours.

    He isn't the only man for you. Your life does not depend on his being in it. You can and will find someone more suitable than a man who can't tell his family he doesn't like their choice of a wife. He chose his family over you. He chose an arranged marriage instead of love. I think this is a very good example of what your life with him would have been like. Any disagreement between you and his relatives and he sides with them. Not how I would want my marriage to go. There are men who will stand up for their love. I think you have been given a chance to find one.

    In the meantime, do things that help you feel good about yourself. Build up your self-confidence. Keep yourself busy mentally and physically. It will help you keep from thinking about him and lessen the urge to contact him. Let the past go and give yourself permission to heal and have positive thoughts about the future.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 23, 2012, 10:25 PM
    Stay friends, they call it a mistress, and always second to wife

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