[amicory]

Hi everyone I'm new to this site and don't really want to use any other site for this question because its kind of embarrassing.

So as the question title says my girlfriend doesn't get me off, and I know its not a physical attraction, its just that she doesn't spend a lot of time doing it. First some background, me and her are both 18 years old, she is the second person I've been sexually active with (did not have this problem with the other one) and we haven't really moved past oral sex yet. I love her with all my heart and am thinking about asking her to marry me. Here is the part that I just can't understand, I love giving her oral, in fact last night I spent about an hour and a half going down on her, but when we switched up she spent maybe 10-15 minutes and that is longer then usual, then she begged to switch back. I'm the quiet type and really hate fighting so I don't want to start one witch is why I haven't brought it up yet, what should I do? I don't think I can keep this up.

[Fr_Chuck]

First if she was really being pleased, she would have been exhausted after a hour and a half, so you must not be asking her how she wants it and perhaps using your hands a lot to stimulate where she really needs it. ** the way a ex does and she does is never to be compared, and what your ex liked, is most likely not what will make this girl climax.

So she needs to tell you where and how to touch and what to do, if it is going to work.

Also do you masturbate a lot. This can cause issues in the touch needed to climax for the guy, so stop if you are right now.

Next let her use her hand, after 15 or 20 min she is most likely tired, mouth hurts and she can't figure why you are not done.
Are you telling her how hard, where to put pressure and so on?

[joypulv]

It sounds like you are expecting her to know what you like! Love means being able to say ANYTHING, in the nicest way. You need to tell her, and you need to ask what she likes too. And don't expect nirvana the first day either. Think of what all the women of the world go through who never or rarely have orgasms.

[smoothy]

Try putting a half-smoke sausage in your mouth for 10-15 minutes... it bet your jaws hurt too.

I'm a straight guy but I've been to the dentist enough times in my life to know that's not a terribly comfortable thing not closing your jaws for extended periods.

And I second what was said above... if you are doing it that long.. you certainly aren't doing it right... I could get every woman I was ever with off in 10 minutes and several times by 20 if she could stand that much stimulation... and very few really are able.

[fredg]

Maybe she doesn't want to give you, or anyone else, oral sex! A good relationship is based on trust, respect, and a willingness to talk about anything. I do hope you will talk with her about this, and straighten it all out in your own mind, before even thinking about marrying her or anyone, for that matter.
Give her a chance to explain how she feels. Not all girls like giving oral sex. I am 70 yrs old, divorced first marriage after 7 years. I remarried for 30 yrs. My wife passed away 6 yrs ago. She didn't like it either! There are more things to marriage that just how you have sex. I do wish you the best of luck.

[excon]

Hey Fred:

Where you been?

excon

[Alty]

Hey Fred:

Where ya been?

excon

If you read his posts it will become very clear. ;)

[Enigma1999]

So it takes you an hour or so to please her with your tongue? Wow, that's along time. I will say one thing, you seem to be a little on the selfish side.

Look, just because you want to spend along time down there doesn't mean she does.

Have you ever gone down on a man before? Well, let me tell you that it does require some work (if you want a good bj) and after 10/15 minuted, it can start to hurt. It IS easier to just lick the same spot opposed to the bobbing and hand gripping and sucking.

Trust me, I know, I have done both...

[Alty]

To the OP.

Many women don't like oral. I for one would prefer anything other than oral, both giving and receiving. It's just not my thing. Sounds like your girlfriend may feel the same way, but really, without you manning up and actually talking to her (and frankly that goes for her too) that's just a guess. You'll never know how she feels until you open your mouth and ask her. Opening your mouth and applying it to her vagina, doesn't count as talking. Just fyi.

I always find it astonishing that people can have sex, but the act of talking to each other is something they find uncomfortable.

[joypulv]

'I always find it astonishing that people can have sex, but the act of talking to each other is something they find uncomfortable.'

This should be the byline of the Sexuality board.
Hey, I was guilty of it myself. I can talk a blue streak, but wasn't that great at discussing what I wanted from sex with my partner.

[Alty]

'I always find it astonishing that people can have sex, but the act of talking to each other is something they find uncomfortable.'

This should be the byline of the Sexuality board.
Hey, I was guilty of it myself. I can talk a blue streak, but wasn't that great at discussing what I wanted from sex with my partner.

It's definitely not an easy conversation, especially if it's about something you don't like. But, any relationship worth having, is worth the talk, good or bad.

One thing about relationships, when it comes to uncomfortable talks, that I learned early on in my marriage, is to include good with the bad. It's like being the boss and doing a job review. You mention the weak spots, and then praise. That way the person doesn't only get negative feedback.

An example for this OP would be "I really love the way you listen to me, and I love your personality. I think we should talk about our likes and dislikes in the bedroom. I want to make sure that I'm pleasing you. Any tips? I have a few tips for you as well". :)