Check out some similar questions!

noey007 · Dec 16, 2012, 08:01 PM

My friend and I have known each other a little over two years. We were just friends for the first couple months into our relationship, then started sleeping together. The sex was amazing! We would have sex every couple months or so
. We've gone out together, but neither of us tried to take it to next level. We both get a lot of attention from the opposite sex and were playing the game, doing our thing. I guess its my fault for not being upfront about my true feelings. I thought I could be the girl who could have sex with no strings attatched but we all know how that ends up. *sigh*
I usually only tell him my true feelings when I'm drunk anyway and that for sure looks bad on my part. Cause we rarely ever talk and ill send a stream of text messages over the course of a couple hours. Like yesterday I told him I loved him and wanted him.he says he misses "when I was normal" and wanted to know what my definition of love was. I said unconditional. Anyway I apologized today and haven't heard anything back. He's moving out of town soon. I'm thinking I've just wanted something that was never there. Idk at one point I really felt he loved me too.

joypulv · Dec 16, 2012, 08:39 PM

Unconditional love? Like babies and puppies and the first stage of romance? Not my definition. Love is actually work, requires time, and a lot of mutual respect and understanding.
Anyway, he's moving. Sometime when you aren't drunk and aren't in bed together, tell him you fell in love with him but it sort of snuck up on you and you have been confused for a while now, but he's moving, and you will treasure what you had, and move on yourself.

noey007 · Dec 16, 2012, 09:26 PM

Thanks. I agree that unconditional love is a bit naïve. Since he hasn't responded, obviously he does too. I probably shouldn't take the matter further to tell him it snuck up on me but I hate feeling like a doormat. Ill just have to learn from this experience and move on.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 16, 2012, 10:08 PM

It sounds like he wanted a friend with benefits and no commitment, since he is moving away, what do you WANT at this point, to move with him,

noey007 · Dec 16, 2012, 11:23 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

It sounds like he wanted a friend with benefits and no committment, since he is moving away, what do you WANT at this point, to move with him, ?

Yes. When he informed me he was moving it made me realize that Im in love with him. He's only moving a couple away but still it bothers me. I feel like he's running away or doesn't care. Then again maybe it has nothing to do with me.

joypulv · Dec 17, 2012, 04:46 AM

I don't think people move to get away from someone falling in love with them.
As for not caring, that has a very wide definition. Since he's not in love with you, he doesn't care the way you hope he would. But is he a caring person to you in general? Where on the spectrum of friends with benefits does he fall? I'm old, so this term is alien to me, and I often wonder how many people (mostly women) are left feeling empty by this kind of sexual casual-ness which results too often in callousness.

dudebroguy · Dec 18, 2012, 11:01 AM

I think you've become attached to him. It all depends at what stage you guys are in your life as well. If he's 30, one can assume he's got a career track and he might be looking for someone who is the same way. Guys who only sleep with you every couple months and barely talk to you are typically not looking for "Mrs. Right" rather they are looking for "Ms. Right Now". Sorry for the hurt, but in situations like this you must move on.