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AE87 · Dec 12, 2012, 09:48 AM

I have been with my partner for over 8 years, and we are wanting to start a family soon. We are a same-sex couple. We have found several male "donors" that have agreed to give up all rights to the child once it is born. So my question is, what is the first thing we need to do in order to get the process going? Can we get a legal paper stating that once the child is born he is going to give up all rights, or do we have to wait till the child is actually born? Another question is, if my partner is the one who carries the child can I legally adopt the child after the father has given up all rights?

Thank you

Oliver2011 · Dec 12, 2012, 10:26 AM

Wow those are really awesome questions. I can't wait for the answers. My guy has mentioned that to me before (panic) and I would like to see the answers. But we are a new couple so that won't be for a while.

AE87 · Dec 12, 2012, 10:43 AM

I live in Texas with my partner of 8 years. There is nothing more that we want than to have a family. I would like to know how hard it is for a same sex couple to adopt a child. What are some suggestions you have for me to get this process started?

Thank you!

Wondergirl · Dec 12, 2012, 10:50 AM

My lesbian sil in CO had to be the adopter, and her partner was a nobody legally. Your best bet is to check with a lawyer in your state. Lawyers who do this kind of work usually know who wants to adopt out, who is looking for someone to adopt their baby privately -- but be careful. Our legal team members will be along to give you more and probably better advice.

AE87 · Dec 12, 2012, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Wow those are really awesome questions. I can't wait for the answers. My guy has mentioned that to me before (panic) and I would like to see the answers. But we are a new couple so that won't be for a while.

Thank you! Like I said we have been together for over 8 years, we are more than ready for a family! It's all we can talk about. We have looked at a few different fertility clinics and we have several friends that are willing to "donate" and give up all rights. I just want to make sure it is all legal!

AE87 · Dec 12, 2012, 11:17 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

My lesbian sil in CO had to be the adopter, and her partner was a nobody legally. Your best bet is to check with a lawyer in your state. Lawyers who do this kind of work usually know who wants to adopt out, who is looking for someone to adopt their baby privately -- but be careful. Our legal team members will be along to give you more and probably better advice.

Thank You! I will most defently be looking into that, and finding some lawyers around me.

Oliver2011 · Dec 12, 2012, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by AE87

Thank you! Like I said we have been together for over 8 years, we are more than ready for a family! It's all we can talk about. We have looked at a few different fertility clinics and we have several friends that are willing to "donate" and give up all rights. I just want to make sure it is all legal!

Absolutely. It sounds like you are approaching it right. And CONGRATS too. (I probably should have said that in the first message.) Adam and I have only been exclusive probably a month I think and seeing each other for 2 years. So we shall see.

AE87 · Dec 12, 2012, 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Absolutely. It sounds like you are approaching it right. And CONGRATS too. (I probably should have said that in the first message.) Adam and I have only been exclusive probably a month I think and seeing each other for 2 years. So we shall see.

Awww Thank you! Hopefully in a few years you two will also be looking into having a child!

Wondergirl · Dec 12, 2012, 12:10 PM

I've moved this thread to a Legal board. You will get more responses that way.

AE87 · Dec 12, 2012, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I've moved this thread to a Legal board. You will get more responses that way.

Ok Thank you for your help!

AK lawyer · Dec 12, 2012, 12:37 PM

I don't know that Texas, or any other state for that matter, has created a distinction between "sperm donor" biological fathers and the traditional kind. Thus, unless there is a specific statute of which I am unaware, you would have to wait until the baby is born and then petition the court for a step-parent adoption, including termination of parental rights of the donor-father.

Since Texas bans same-sex marriage, it is doubtful that state would allow a step-parent adoption. If you are not recognized as spouses, you would not, it follows, be a step-parent. So you might have to move to a state which recognizes SSMs in order to adopt the child.

Thus, you had better consult with an attorney to see how you might be able to do this.