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alisab · Dec 7, 2012, 08:01 PM

Just lost my best friend who was a pedestrian hit by a car and then 2 weeks later my mom from illness. 1 month later , having sex with a regular partner and started to cry. This was something I have never experienced and I am too embarrassed to ask any friends. Any feedback??

Alty · Dec 7, 2012, 11:17 PM

You're overwhelmed. Sex is a release, and the only time we completely let our guard down. It's easier to remain stoic when that's all you're thinking about. When your guard is down, sometimes all the things you've been holding in, come bursting out.

I'm so sorry for all you've been through. It's okay to cry, to let it all out. If you need to talk, we're here to listen.

hheath541 · Dec 8, 2012, 02:30 AM

That's a lot to be dealing with at once. It's understandable that you'll have random crying spells and even mood swings.

Just explain to your partner that it has nothing to do with them, you just have a lot to process.

Oliver2011 · Dec 10, 2012, 06:37 AM

I agree with Alty. Don't beat yourself up over it. You have been through a lot. I lost my mom 5 years ago tomorrow and it still is something I think about a lot. I can tell you that time does help ease the pain. Good luck with everything.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 10, 2012, 06:47 AM

It happens, and if the partner was valued enough, they will understand and be caring. If not, they were not worth having sex with anyway

smoothy · Dec 10, 2012, 07:26 AM

Like everyone just said... at a month.. you are just starting to come out of the denial stage and the reality of it is really starting to hit you.. or its about to... The first few weeks your are sort of numb (being in denial of the finality) when that wears off its going to hit you like a toin of bricks... and losing a parent is a pretty bad thing... and you also lost a best friend which only ramps that up a bit more.

Its going to be months (and maybe a year or more) before things start to normalize again to the new reality you have to adjust to.

Just make sure they know about your losses, and well, if they do and don't care, then its time to find someone better.

If you haven't talked to your best friends about your loss.. then maybe its time to. Talking about things to the right people helps you through the hard times. Its going to be doubly hard to go through this alone keeping it bottled up.