[Rahul2310]

>translated into English from Hobbit<

Please help me. What should I do? I want her back in my life. I;'m dying every day. So, let me tell you the whole story.

I was in a relationship with a girl for around 7 months. Our relationship started in a way like.. she had a break up from her boyfriend. He dumped her. She was totally lost at that time and came into my contact. We started talking. I helped her, controlled her. We became good friends. We all are in the same college. After talking to her for a month, I gained some feeling for her. I expressed this to her but she told me we are just friends only. Time passed and we became very close. We were like in a relationship but not a declared one. Soon after much trying she accepted. And we came into a relationship.

At the start, things were very good. She loved me a lot. She loved me so much even more than I loved her. She always used to say I love you very much and she was very very nice towards me. But after some days I started asking questions to her because after that time problems arose. Fights started between us because of lack of time giving between us. I always shouted on her but things got normal. Here were misunderstandings between us. When I tried to make her understand something, she understood that thing in the opposite way and fights took place.

Things were going this way, small fights and loss [lots?] of love... days passed... but I always asked her questions and she felt like I'm doubting her. Tension arose between us and one day after a small fight in misunderstanding, I abused her badly, very badly. She left me at that moment.

There was no contact after that between us. I highly regretted for my actions, told thousand times sorry to her.. she told me that if I have a backbone and self respect I will never come back. But after 3 days she talked to me and next day after crying and saying so much sorry, she came back to me. Things became normal and we came more close, lots of promises were made.

Soon after few days, fights happened. I shouted, but at that time she told me she was going to leave me. She don't want to be with me, but after saying sorry, she get normal.

But now after every fight she started saying to me, "I don't want to be with you. Leave me. My feelings decreased for you for what you did to me. You abused me. I will never forget this." But every time things got normal because of me only and she also went normal.
But after few days she almost left trying. She begged me to leave, but I didn't and said I can't live without you. Please try for last time and everything will be all right. But she is completely changed.

Two days before the breakup, she was nice with me, but after that a small fight and she left me, broke up with me. I cried, begged, pleaded, promised I will do everything as she wanted, will be like as she wanted, but she gave the reason that I abused her very badly and couldn't be with me. She hated me. She left me crying.

Now from the next day, she was talking to another guy who used to like her from a long time ago. From the next day of our breaking up, they started continuously talking on phone and spending time with each other.

I tried to talk to her after our breakup but she didn't listen to anything and told me that I made her life hell, always shouted on her, doubted her. She cursed every good moment between us. She hates me now. And she is very happy with the new guy just after 10 days of breakup. They spend most of their time with each other. After 1.5 months of breakup, seeing them, it feels like they are in a relationship. She is very happy with the new guy. She don't even want to talk about us. She ignores me, hates me. And enjoys all the time with the new guy.

What should I do ? I want her back. I really love her so much.
I told her many times, please come back, I love you, but she didn't listen to anything I said. Tried everything to get her back, talked, begged, cried, but nothing happens. She don't want to be with me.

Its now 1.5 months after our breakup. I want her back. Help me. I did a lot of mistakes, even told her promised her that I will not do anything stupid and things which hurts her, but she don't even care for that.

Help me.

[joypulv]

You abused her, you fought horrible fights, and you call that love.
THANKFULLY she is done with you. Get over her, and start working on yourself for the future, because it's clear that you aren't ready for any serious and loving relationship.
And please, don't go online using text language. It's for one liners between friends. I didn't read 3/4 of what you wrote. It's like listening to a baby babbling. It isn't allowed here.

I'm being harsh on purpose, not because I have some personal reason - you have no choice but to get over her. She is NOT coming back to you!

[Alty]

I helped her, controlled her.

I always shouted on her

Tension arose between us and one day after a small fight in misunderstanding, I abused her badly, very badly.

There was no contact after that between us. I highly regretted for my actions, told thousand times sorry to her.. she told me that if I have a backbone and self respect I will never come back. But after 3 days she talked to me and next day after crying and saying so much sorry, she came back to me. Things became normal and we came more close, lots of promises were made.

Typical abuse victim. Abuser says sorry, so she gives him another chance. But, the abuser doesn't change, it's just a matter of time until he does it again...

Soon after few days fyts happnd,I shouted,but at that tym she told me to leave me.. she don't want to be with me.. but after saying sorry she get norm

al.

She hates me now.

As she should. You abused her. Why should she like you, or love you?

She don't even want to talk about me. She ignores me,hates me. And njoy all d tym with d new guy.
What sud I do ? I want her back... I really love her so much...

You should get help for your abusive nature. Get help dealing with the anger that causes you to abuse a woman.

Forget about her, she's smart, and she's not going back to a man that has shown he's abusive, and can't control his anger.

I told her many tyms plzz come back,I love u, but she didn't listen anything.. Tried evrything to get her back talked ,beggd,cried.. but nthing happens.. she don't want to be with me..

She doesn't want to be with you! She's told you that over and over again! Now you're not only abusive, but you're stalking her! Leave her alone! She doesn't want you, and what you want doesn't matter. It takes two to have a relationship, and she doesn't want one with you!

I diid a lot of mistake,even I told her promised her that I will not do anything stupid and things which hurts u.. but she don't even care for that.

You don't keep your promises, so why would she believe you? She took you back the first time and within days you were yelling at her again, escalating to abuse again. Your promises don't mean anything.

By the way, you're in college? Really? They let you write that way in college? Text talk is not a language. From now on write in full words, and the best English you're capable of, or your posts will be deleted. Text talk is not allowed on this site. :(

[J_9]

You are in college? You don't type like you are. How would one of your professors grade this if it were a paper? It's virtually impossible to read. Stop using text abbreviations and type in complete words and sentences the way the site requires.

I was able to figure out that you said that you abused her. You abused her very badly. Also that you shout at her.

She is better off with someone other than you. You don't deserve a woman, or a dog for that matter. Relationships are about love and trust, not about abuse and control. It's time you learned that.

[MadlyInLove]

I think the beginning of the second paragraph already sums it up nicely.

"Our relationship started in a way like..she had a break up from her bf. He dumpd her.she was totally lost at that time.then, she came into my contct.we started talking.i helpd her,cntrld her.we became good frnds.we all are in the same college.
after talking to her for a month,i gained some feeling for her."

For me that already said it all. She had a fight with her boyfriend and she started talking to you. She didn't have any time to recover from her last boyfriend because she jumped straight to you. Now she did the same when you had a fight, and she's talking to the next guy. If I were you, I would have been very apprehensive about getting into a relationship with someone who JUST broke up with their boyfriend.

My advice is to forget about her. Honestly seven months isn't that long of a time, and there's no way you should be screaming at or abusing her. Even if you are an abusive boyfriend, you two should have still been in the honeymoon phase where everything is perfect.

It seems to me like you two were neve compatible from the start, and hopefully you learn something from this experience. Wait about 2-3 months and you should start forgetting about her, and maybe you'll find someone who you actually love, and don't have any reason to abuse...

[Rahul2310]

I just want to remind you that her EX dumped her and after that she waited for him for 2 months.. but at the end nothing happnd between them..
As she was friendly with me before her break up.. so, she contactd me.
At the beginning for 1 month I didn't have any feeling for her. And she was badly hurt after her break up.as a friend I tried to make her normal and supported her.
In this process we came close just as a friend from friend to good friends.
We chat for hours.. so, after a month some feelings generated for her and soon after it converted into love.
For 4 months she didn't accptd my love.she always told me "i m not ready for next relationship,i hadnt forgotten him compltly,i will not be able to give u 100% ".
But we are very close.. but after going for the holidays,finally she accpted my love and our relationship.. but only after removing all ill wills and forgetting almost everything about herself past..
So, this way our relationship started.

If anyone want further details... I am ready to share anything.
But just give some ideas or sugesstion..
Why at a sudden she did this ?
When she knew that already there was problem because of this guy and being with that guy will certainly loose her pride from everyperson of the college... and everything just after 10 days of break up ?
Why all sudden... and I want to mention that guy was mad about her from long time and likes her...

[hheath541]

First of all, so many of the things you've said tell me that it was an abusive relationship from the start, and only got worse. You admit to controlling her from the start of your friendship, repeatedly say you made her do/feel/be a certain way, and admit to abusing her and yelling at her. Add the constant fights because she was talking to another guy in class, and the seemingly constant questions about her feelings for you, and I would NEVER advice her to get back with you.

Controlling someone is NOT a way to start a friendship, and certainly not a relationship. Abusing someone is NEVER OK. Repeatedly questioning someone's feelings toward you and being jealous when they talk to someone else, will only make them angry and irritated with you. Constant jealousy is one of the fastest ways to drive someone away.

You've shown signs of being controlling, manipulative, abusive, possessive, and obsessed. If it were her asking if she should be with you, I would tell her to run far and fast, and never look back.

You need to back off. She doesn't want to be with you. What she is doing and who she is talking to is none of your business. She doesn't love you, and clearly no longer even likes you. You were a bad boyfriend that treated her horribly, and she's better off without you. Let her live her life, and get yourself some counseling to figure out why you feel the need to treat women so badly.

Oh, and start using correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar if you want to be taken seriously. Typing the way you do gives the impression that you're immature and not very intelligent.

Also, her actions toward you are NOT sudden. They go back months, to at least the point where she broke up with you for abusing her. It just took her awhile to stand her ground. She gave you a second chance (that you didn't deserve) when she agreed to get back together. You REPEATEDLY showed her that you were unwilling and unable to change every time you started a fight over her talking to another guy, brought up a past fight, or insisted she change something to please you. She REPEATEDLY told you that your actions would need to change if you had any chance of her staying (every time she threatened to leave). When it became obvious you weren't going to treat her any better, she left.

So, no, it wasn't sudden. You're just upset that she finally stood up for herself and actually left.

[joypulv]

Sweetsha, ads are not allowed here, nor are email addresses. Pretending won't help.

[Oliver2011]

"I;'m dying every day" No your not. You were also dying on December 9th when you wrote practically the same thing. So you have survived.

Learn how to treat a partner and maybe that partner will want to hang around. And grow up - relationships are not about drama.

[mrpines]

You should not have abused her. Serves her right to find someone else. Cherish what you have because in a blink of an eye it can vanish for good.