[Loneliness]

Just a thought are there any genuine reasons other that he's not finding me as attractive as I used to be? We have been together 7 years... We do it about 1 a month but I'd love it to be often... Any advice from men and women! Is there anything I can do?
P.s I've tried not wanting, new things, sexy outfits/lingerie, sex toys, different positions, and I'm sort of giving up :/

[tickle]

How old is he, and maybe he may need a trip to his doctor to discuss his dysfunction and lack thereof. I am not saying viagra or anything like that, it may not be you, but diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol all play an important part in the lacking. When was the last time he had a physical?

[Wondergirl]

I'm guessing it has nothing to do with you (so don't get yourself all worked up and knocking yourself out for nothing). Like tickle said, it very well could be a physical problem on his part. Most men hate to go to a doctor, so getting him to one might be your biggest challenge to date.

[Loneliness]

Thanks for the answer we are both 26 and we went to the doctors about 2 years ago thinking it might be some physical problem but everything was fine even blood test... He hasn't got any medical problem and when we do have sex there isn't any problem so I don't know what to think! I just find it strange that he wouldn't mind having a Wank by himself but is not interested to get me involved! He also doesn't try to please me even when he know I want it but he don't, cause that might solve half of the problem... I'm just frustrated that I'm not getting satisfied :/

[Wondergirl]

Think about it. Doing it alone means he can go as fast or slow as he wants to with whatever stimulus he needs -- bingo bango, and he's done. Once you are on the team, life gets a lot more complicated. Now you tell me what that would be.

[Loneliness]

Think about it. Doing it alone means he can go as fast or slow as he wants to with whatever stimulus he needs -- bingo bango, and he's done. Once you are on the team, life gets a lot more complicated. Now you tell me what that would be.

I don't really understand what u mean? :/

[Wondergirl]

When you become part of the team, he has another person to think about and to worry about and to concentrate on. Now sex becomes more "work." Do you see where I am going with this? He may feel overwhelmed with satisfying not only himself but you too.

[Loneliness]

When you become part of the team, he has another person to think about and to worry about and to concentrate on. Now sex becomes more "work." Do you see where i am going with this? He may feel overwhelmed with satisfying not only himself but you too.

Yeah now I understand what u mean... He makes me easily and I like doing things for him as well, such as oral or even just a hand job... Maybe he feels to pressured to have sex when he's just wanting something "less" of a hard work...

[Wondergirl]

Yeah now I understand what u mean... He makes me easily and I like doing things for him as well, such as oral or even just a hand job... Maybe he feels to pressured to have sex when he's just wanting something "less" of a hard work...

And the last thing we want to do is pressure our men, right? I suggest you don't bring it up, don't whimper and whine for sex, don't strut out in costumes, don't even act like sex is important to you. Bake cookies and be fun and interesting and do what is called "sensate focusing" (snuggling, cuddling, touching here and there throughout the day as appropriate and NOT when it might annoy him and NOT to be needy). Try that for two weeks.

He may need another doctor checkup -- and would he be willing to go to couples counseling (or even show up once in a while if you go for individual counseling -- not forever, but to put together a better idea of what is going on with him)?

P.S. My husband thinks changing the oil in my car (without me anywhere nearby) is romantic, so you see what I am up against...