[Jmac921]

My girlfriend of 4 years who I've been dating since she was 19 says she still loves me but needs to take a break. She's always been the type to worry about the future in all aspects of life. Recently my brother got engaged, and his fiancé, and everyone in my family were all semi kidding around saying she was next, and stuff like that. She loves my family, and they all love her as well. Her mother passed away right before we started officially dating, and her father has never been in her life. The only family she keeps in contact with is her uncle. She's got a few close friends , but for the most part, I'm her rock and only shoulder to lean on. She's always been very dependent, and has stated before that it scares her how much she depends on me. I lead with that brief history, because in most cases I would just move on and try to forget about her. But when she came over to talk about taking a break, it was as if I was breaking up with her. She wouldn't stop crying and kept saying that she still loved me, but recently she's been freaking out over the fact that she'll be with me forever and that I'm the only serious relationship she's ever been in. I feel that she honestly does still love me, and is just freaking out and will figure stuff out in a few weeks, but.. at the same time I'm scared that I may have hugged and kissed her for the last time. Has anybody been in a similar position? I'm an emotional mess at the moment, and finding it really hard to give her her space, but don't want to scare here away by pestering her. When we talked about I was the one comforting her and telling her it was going to be all right, so I do have hope for us. Just need to hear from somebody though with any insight..

[Oliver2011]

Smothering her now could possibly be the worst thing you could do so I agree you need to give her the space right now. She needs to know that you will be there for her when and if she needs that.

"I'm scared that I may have hugged and kissed her for the last time." - Since you don't control her thoughts or actions, you need to understand this is a possibility.

Keep yourself busy with other activities so that your mind stays active and is not constantly focused on this situation. If you two go separate ways know that you will survive it.

Good luck!

[backpack2389]

You two were very young when you started dating and since then have been together (and exclusive I presume). Furthermore, her mother passed away just before you started dating. So essentially, you took over some of the close relationship she had with her mother. She probably got attached quickly and has failed to date around or consider other partners. With the recent engagement in your family and the comments they've been making, I'm sure she's started seriously considering if that's really the road she wants to take or just what she's been comfortable with for the past few years.

Definitely give her space. She asked you for it because she needs the chance to independently (without any influence from you) make a decision about your future. If you interfere now and she later believes she made the wrong choice, she will blame you. The time apart is her chance to honestly evaluate your relationship, decide if she should be on her own, with someone else or with you. She might very well decide to break up. It would be better for her to break up and maybe regret it and get back together later or move on, than for you two to get married and realize later that one or neither of you really wanted to be together.