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anktap · Dec 2, 2012, 02:12 PM

Me and my girl are in this relationship for 10 years now.. I am from up and she is bengali... We both have stable jobs.. My father does not agree for our marriage... We have waited for 10 years for him to agree... But my dad's still of the same decission... My girl does not want us to get married against my fathers will... What should I do.. Please help...

Homegirl 50 · Dec 2, 2012, 03:19 PM

You've been in a relationship for 10 tears, how old are you guys?
Maybe she is tired of waiting and wants to move on.

anktap · Dec 3, 2012, 04:41 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You've been in a relationship for 10 tears, how old are you guys?
Maybe she is tired of waiting and wants to move on.

I am 34 and she is 28... I want to get marries but my girl wants to wait for my father to say yes.. What should I do.

Homegirl 50 · Dec 3, 2012, 12:40 PM

Your girl friend is either using that as an excuse or she does not want to get married. She is not getting any younger. How long are you going to wait around for her or your father's permission?

anktap · Dec 3, 2012, 03:10 PM

No excuse.. she really loves me.. but like every indian bride wants all of her family together.. I really want to convince my father.. what should I do... I have tries talking to him but of no use...

Homegirl 50 · Dec 3, 2012, 03:39 PM

I have no clue.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 3, 2012, 03:51 PM

Wait for father to die,

Or break up and find a girl who will marry you, that is about the only choice.

anktap · Dec 6, 2012, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Wait for father to die,

or break up and find a girl who will marry you, that is about the only choice.

Thanks.. But N0 thanks..

Homegirl 50 · Dec 7, 2012, 05:54 AM

Originally Posted by anktap

Thanks.. But N0 thanks..

Why don't you try convincing your girl friend to marry you . It's been 10 years, how long are you going to do this?

Cat1864 · Dec 7, 2012, 02:03 PM

How does her family feel about the possibility of you marrying? Do they have any objections?

What are your father's objections? Are they due to religion, caste, tradition, etc. Does he have someone in mind he would prefer for you to marry? Have you tried finding compromises or answers to his concerns?

While there are couples who marry without parental/family approval and are happy, I have read enough questions on this site to know it can cause major issues in the marriage. I realize there isn't a simple answer. I wish there were.

There is another question to ask yourself: If she agreed to marry you without his approval and he disowned you, would you be able to love and care for her as your wife and lover without blaming her for the loss of your family? Would you feel guilty and would that guilt spill over into your relationship with her?