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joncol · Nov 27, 2012, 10:06 PM

Hi, I just got married to someone to whom I had been engaged for the past 6 months.. as is usual in my part of the world, this was an arranged marriage, meaning I have barely met him before tying the knot.. but we had spent hours on the phone daily since our first meeting.. so I was more than eager to get married when my wedding day came.. 2 weeks post wedding, we had to go back to our respective colleges which are 16 hrs apart and because of the busy nature of our curriculum, we are unable to meet each other even once a month.. and this situation isn't going to change for the next 3 yrs.. post wedding we started seeing each other on skype.. its all good.. but I keep feeling confused and worried.. I don't know if a relationship can be sustained in this manner.. its like before I got used to being with him, I had to get used to being without him.. I terribly miss him.. but I am scared that, like all wounds heal, my mind will stop longing for him, over time.. I don't want to lose my feelings for him.. it would have been different had we been a couple who were together and then had to live apart.. but our situation is that we have already taken the vow to live together forever, but have no idea what the other persons normal everyday life will feel like.. and somehow I don't feel comfortable speaking about this to my husband.. I am scared if I say these things, he ll feel hurt and that I don't love him enough.. its not that.. it's that I don't know him enough.. and he would like us to have children.. I feel so terrified at the thought of taking this relationship to that ultimate level when the only thing I really know is his voice over the phone.. please please advise

Oliver2011 · Nov 28, 2012, 06:10 AM

I had a friend who had an arranged marriage. BLAH. I don't see the point. It is called falling in love - not make me fall in love.

Not that I am suggesting this by any means but what does your culture say about divorce?

Regardless you should continue to discuss all of this with your husband. Hopefully that way you two will grow and get to know each other better. Being a part isn't going to help so you should do what you can to be with him even if it is just communication.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 28, 2012, 06:16 AM

Arranged marriage can work very well, That is if the couple works at it, Love is confused by most young couples and they have lust and sexual desires, not really love. So they get together and when issues come, they split up.

Why must you be apart ? Why can't one move colleges to be with the other, is my question.

Oliver2011 · Nov 28, 2012, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Arranged marriage can work very well, That is if the couple works at it, Love is confused by most young couples and they have lust and sexual desires, not really love. so they get together and when issues come, they split up.

Why must you be apart ? why can't one move colleges to be with the other, is my question.

I guess I just don't understand the concept. I remember I asked my buddy Maneesh if he loved the girl is was appointed to marry. His response was "I don't even know her." He lived here and she was in India. I can't imagine marrying for anything but love.