[cross30]

I had been dating this girl for about 6 months when this happened. She came to me and confessed about a week after she cheated and there was no way I would have found out so I give her credit for being honest but still... she cheated. So anyway she went to her college homecoming without me, claiming that she wanted to hang with her girlfriends and says she just "ran into" her ex. And at about 12 or 1 in the morning she woke me up calling me drunk saying "Babe I miss you, I want to see you so I'm going to drive home to you". And I didn't want her to get a DUI so I said No, don't... you might get a DUI. Then she asked me to pick her up and I said "It's like 45 minutes away and I'm sleeping, I will see you tomorrow" and she said "Ok" in a disappointed tone and we hung up. Then she ran into her EX and I guess he was hitting on her and spitting game and what not, and I worked obviously. After a full day of drinking (she also used to "I was wasted" excuse) she went and got a hotel room with him later that night and hooked up. Now I know that I wasn't treating her the best (but neither did her ex as he cheated on her with like 4 or 5 different girls in one year, but she claims that when they were together he made her feel loved and special even though he was unfaithful). I wasn't really acting like I was "serious" with her or about her. She says I didn't make her feel special and treat her like I really cared about her. She says if I would have treated her like I really cared that she wouldn't have done that. She also just straight up said she had it in her mind that the sex with him was soooooo good when they were together, but when she was having sex with him that night it was awful because it wasn't me. But the thing is before she cheated on me she would always tell me she loved me. And in fact on the day she cheated, she told me she loved me and would never cheat on me. Now I'm thinking how can you say you love me if I treated you so bad? And If you loved me how could you cheat? We are together now trying to work things out. I do love her and I'm trying to be more loving and considerate to her feelings, but I'm thinking even if I was treating her good she still probably would have done it. I just don't think she is over her Ex even though he's an a**hole. I'm scared that she still has strong feelings for him even though she says she doesn't. She said she told him she doesn't want to be with him because of how he cheated and lied. But I just feel like she can't resist him ( she said she called me to get her because she was scared she was going to do something stupid. So obviously she couldn't control herself around him, which is pretty bad.) And I feel like she is still in contact with him even though she says she is not ( I don't have proof, just a hunch). I feel like she might do it again if she sees him even though he lives 8 hours away.

[Tinkerbell2004]

A few things you need to ask yourself:

1. Is this something you could ever get over?
If you know deep down there is no way you will ever get over her cheating on you, than problem solved, you can't be with her.

2. Do you honestly think she would do it again?
If you think given the chance she would do this again than clearly you will never trust her and a relationship with her will never work. You can't always trust the feelings you have, but sometimes a feeling can be all it takes to make a decision.

3. Is a 6 month relationship really worth all the stress?
Since you two have only been together for 6 months and she has already cheated on you during the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship, whose to say she isn't going to do it again and again as she gets more bored with the relationship.

While reading your post it just seemed like you two are not happy together since she tells you how you don't treat her as well as you should and you don't make her feel loved. It seems like she is caught in the past with her ex and she isn't over him. If you two continue this way you are going to continue to be in his shadow. Even if he didn't treat her that well, it doesn't seem like it has bothered her all that much since she can still run back to him. It isn't your job to have to stop her from cheating, she should be able to do that by herself if she actually does love you.

[CarrotTalker]

since she tells you how you don't treat her as well as you should and you don't make her feel loved.

I think this is just B.S. she is spewing to make herself feel justified for cheating and to mis-place blame on cross30.

[pandead]

I think this is just B.S. she is spewing to make herself feel justified for cheating and to mis-place blame on cross30.

My thoughts exactly. I mean come on, we have all been in relationships we didn't know if the other part was serious or not, hell, most of us have been in relationships where we were treated bad - yet it's not a reason to hook up with an ex at the first occasion.

Don't let her blame you for her mistake. She CHEATED. It wasn't even like a quick kiss "in the moment" (which isn't excusable either) she went to a hotel with him, got a room and had sex. After that, who cares how awful it was? That excuse she gave you, she should think about it BEFORE she went to the hotel, not after : "because it wasn't you."

Trust your intuition. "She would have done it anyway."

[MrEarNoseThroat]

Es are receptacles. Treat them accordingly. There is such as an HONEST HOT girl. Ugly and fat no problem.. they will stick with you if you look good.

[MrEarNoseThroat]

Once a cheater always a cheater. So make every bichh your cumm receptacle that's all =)