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841992 · Nov 8, 2012, 07:40 AM

Hi, I’m just 20 years old, completed BBA. There are only 21 days for my marriage but my fiancé is not talking well to me. I said to my mom last month I don’t want this marriage. So my dad talked to him and asked him to my home to speak with me. He spoke nice, but I didn't like that.

After that he didn’t call or message to me. Having more ego, head weight. Marriage works are going fast, but my mother in law and father in law are very nice. I don’t like that guy and I also like to study more and like to go on a job. These are not possible in my fiancé home. I want to stop this marriage.

I'm confused. What can I do now?

smoothy · Nov 8, 2012, 07:42 AM

Simple... don't go... he can't marry you if you aren't there.

841992 · Nov 9, 2012, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Simple...don't go......he can't marry you if you aren't there.

ThanQ... But where I don't want to go... Tell me clearly...

J_9 · Nov 9, 2012, 07:25 AM

Don't go to the wedding. Just don't show up.

841992 · Nov 9, 2012, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Don't go to the wedding. Just don't show up.

Thanks for your advice... But tats not possible...

smoothy · Nov 9, 2012, 09:09 AM

Originally Posted by 841992

ThanX for ur advice... But tats not possible.....

Then call the police and tell them you have been kidnapped and are being held against your will..

Unless you have been kidnapped and FORCED to go against your will, then you DO have the ability to decide to just NOT go.

Either you don't go and make yourself happy... or you go and make HIM happy... but you have to make that choice... and you DO have the ability to make that decision... what you won't have is one where everyone is happy.

841992 · Nov 9, 2012, 08:13 PM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Then call the police and tell them you have been kidnapped and are being held against your will..

Unless you have been kidnapped and FORCED to go against your will, then you DO have the ability to decide to just NOT go.

Either you don't go and make yourself happy...or you go and make HIM happy....but you have to make that choice....and you DO have the ability to make that decision....what you won't have is one where everyone is happy.

Ya your right... But I need some more ideas...

odinn7 · Nov 9, 2012, 08:17 PM

More ideas? Tell him you do not want to marry him. Stand up for yourself and tell him, your parents, his parents, anyone that you need to tell that you don't want to get married.

841992 · Nov 10, 2012, 09:01 PM

Originally Posted by odinn7

More ideas? Tell him you do not want to marry him. Stand up for yourself and tell him, your parents, his parents, anyone that you need to tell that you don't want to get married.

Thanks for your suggestion... Ur idea is good to me... But tat oly my problem... I'm afraid to tell... If I 'll tell to anyone they will tell tat you would say before engagement why you telling now? More problems will be created bcos of my society... So I'm going to sacrifice... ThanQ all for giving me some ideas...

talaniman · Nov 11, 2012, 09:21 PM

Sacrifice your own life o everyone but you can be happy? Refuse to get married, tell your fiancé YOU WON'T DO IT!!

The sooner the better, as you have already wasted enough time so why keep wasting it?

joypulv · Nov 15, 2012, 04:33 PM

You are willing to be trapped in a house while he goes to an interesting job, and you don't? And then babies, and catering to in-laws, and being a housewife for the rest of your life, just so that you don't hurt your parents? TELL THEM NOW that he is cold and unloving when they aren't present, and that you want more school and a real career.
I would think in any society, any religion, the woman backing out of a marriage is not nearly as bad as a man wanting out. He would have to pay for the expenses of the ceremony and probably more.

farma aska davi · Nov 15, 2012, 04:38 PM

Just say "sorry the marrige i off"

841992 · Nov 16, 2012, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Sacrifice your own life o everyone but you can be happy? Refuse to get married, tell your fiance YOU WON"T DO IT!!!

The sooner the better, as you have already wasted enough time so why keep wasting it?

Really your right... But now ntng to do... My fate... Anyway I want to set a path to go in this life...

841992 · Nov 16, 2012, 07:14 AM

Originally Posted by farma aska davi

just say "sorry the marrige i off"

Thanks for your advice...

841992 · Nov 16, 2012, 07:17 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

You are willing to be trapped in a house while he goes to an interesting job, and you don't? And then babies, and catering to in-laws, and being a housewife for the rest of your life, just so that you don't hurt your parents? TELL THEM NOW that he is cold and unloving when they aren't present, and that you want more school and a real career.
I would think in any society, any religion, the woman backing out of a marriage is not nearly as bad as a man wanting out. He would have to pay for the expenses of the ceremony and probably more.

U also more right... I'm just doing it for my parents... So I'm going to marry him... ThanQ...

Oliver2011 · Nov 16, 2012, 07:31 AM

Going into a marriage that you don't want is FRAUGHT with disaster. Don't do it. Listen to everyone here. Once the words come out of your mouth, as in I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU, then you will feel a total sense of relief and freedom. I honestly cannot imagine marrying someone I didn't love without crying through the whole ceremony.

841992 · Nov 19, 2012, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Going into a marriage that you don't want is FRAUGHT with disaster. Don't do it. Listen to everyone here. Once the words come out of your mouth, as in I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU, then you will feel a total sense of relief and freedom. I honestly cannot imagine marrying someone I didn't love without crying through the whole ceremony.

Now I don't know what to say with you all... ThanQ so much for your advices...

smoothy · Nov 19, 2012, 08:41 PM

As we have said... you go into marriage assuming its forever... and forever is a very long time if you aren't happy.

Alty · Nov 19, 2012, 09:01 PM

I don't understand why you asked this question when you knew there was no way, that you were willing to accept, to get out of it. You were never going to follow any of the advice given, so why did you ask?

841992 · Nov 20, 2012, 07:29 AM

Originally Posted by Alty

I don't understand why you asked this question when you knew there was no way, that you were willing to accept, to get out of it. You were never going to follow any of the advice given, so why did you ask?

Sorry to disturb you all... I'm wiling to stop to this marriage now also... But its not in my hand... Because if I say any with my dad, he will not accept that and will do the compulsion marriage, so... So oly I'm keeping silent, why want to create problem when marriage... My mom, sisters are happy of my marriage... Tats enough for me... I said with you all, to relax my mind and heart... And I want to share it with anyone...