[fieldsar]

I want to start Kenon by telling you how I actually really feel, how I actually felt since we have been talking. Kenon I’m so happy and that glad that you were the guy to be in my life, since we have been talking, I’ve realized so many things, that I haven’t realized before. Kenon I think about what we have been going through everyday, I think about what else we have left that can actually make us work. Kenon I think about the entire negative and mean hurtful things you say to me. Thinking about it makes me feel so down and it makes me feel so insecure about myself, Kenon you call me things that aren’t even true about me, you say you care about me and you love me but calling me negative things, is that really caring or loving about someone? I think about all the wrong things I do but to be honest I have done nothing wrong. I just don’t understand how you can treat me this way; I have been so good to you and do everything for you that any guy would want from any other girl. You say that I’m childish and that I need to grow up but be honest with yourself Kenon we both need to grow up. I’m just so tired of always arguing about stupid things that aren’t even important, the only thing that is important to me is you and how are we going to make things work. Kenon I know a lot of guys talk to me and I know why they talk to me because they only want one thing from me and I’m not that kind of girl to give up something that means the world to me, its something that I’m proud of truly. Kenon all I want to do is make things right with you, is that too much to ask for? Kenon you’re the only guy I want to be with, you’re the only guy that I want to cherish every moment and every second with, because I care and I Love You So Much, that words can’t describe how I feel about you. Kenon I just want you to trust me, I want to be that girl that’s important to you in your life, because I know deep down in my heart and soul that, that’s how I feel towards you. I think about all the things that we have been through, I don’t want to give up on us and I’m not going to give up on you and us. Kenon all I want from you is to be LOVED, RESPECTED, and lastly CARED for. I don’t need a guy that’s going to be negative towards me, I want a guy that’s going to tell me what good things I have done and good things about me. Kenon I don’t know where we are going to be in the future but all I know and want is my future to be with you. I don’t know how more clearly I can be about how I feel about you, I don’t know if me telling you this is going to make you realize that I’m yours and hopefully forever and always will be. Kenon I feel like you control me though, I know that to you that it don’t seem like you do but telling me to delete my Facebook and the whole quit talking to guys, is being to controlive. You say that you trust me, but to be honest I feel like you don’t at all, it hurts me the most that you don’t because you should trust me because I’m a good girl and any guy would be proud to say that they have a good girl. I’m me Kenon the girl who is willing to be there for you and willing to make things right and not having to worry about what’s bad that’s going to happen next. Kenon I’m just an 18 year old girl, I don’t know a lot about Love but I do know that I Love You. I’m just hoping that when you read this that, you will see and realize that when you loose someone that’s good and that’s something that’s positive in your life, you can’t ever get it back and then you regret why did I ever do that or why did I ever say or treat her that way. I gave my best Kenon, I feel like that wasn’t enough, then you always get upset and then we argue. I just think it’s time that we just set some boundaries and limits on some things. I’m willing to try if you’re willing to try. I’m so tired of all the petty things you do and say; I honestly don’t think you are ready for a relationship right now. I know I’m like the first girl for you, but there is some things you need to work on. I’m not saying you are a bad guy or nothing but the way you treat me sometimes, I don’t like it at all. I know that I can give you hard times and I know sometimes the way I act is pointless but I’m not the only one who is acting like a child, you act like a child too. I’m not just saying this to be saying it, I’m just telling you how I feel and my opinion about some things. I know that this probably won’t change anything or make things better but at least I’m telling you how I feel and I’m being open because remember I wasn’t to you before until I’ve realized some things. I do think about the future ahead, that if were together are we still going to act this way? I’m ready to grow up and get my life on track, I don’t want to play no mores games with you, I want this or whatever we are, and I want it to be REAL. I’m ready to start showing you the real me, that’s what I have been trying to do and its like no matter how hard I try I’m always getting back into the same bad situation with you again and I don’t want that anymore, I want something better with you. I don’t know if this is how you feel but if you don’t feel the same way then ill understand. I’m just going to do me and I’m going to let you do you, just know that I’m not arguing anymore and I’m not playing anymore games.