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    Vallilly's Avatar
    Vallilly Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 18, 2012, 09:26 AM
    Why does my 82 yr old grandmother lie all the time for attention
    My grandma lies ALL the time! I have to live with her right now.. it's just my only option at the moment. I take care of her too while I am there and also taking care of her house. Knowing I have no where else to live she's single handily has forced me out. She lies to my father (her son) about things I've done, said, or hasn't said or done JUST to make me look bad and to gain sympathy for herself. This has caused me and my fathers relationship to decline. And also many members of that side of the family that can never be "patched up". I can not blame this on her old age because she can turn it on or off depending on who's around to witness her lying or treating me so badly. What could be the reason and is there a way to reasonable talk to her?. even though whenever I try and talk to her there is a HUGE fight! I think she thinks I am talking badly of her or making fun of her. How can I get across to her how this has ruined our relationship. Because if right now.. I've moved out and I will NEVER speak to her again.I feel like I will not even be attending her funeral. That's how much I feel I to the core hate her. Of course there's a million more things that's caused me to feel so strongly but.. Please help
    gloade's Avatar
    gloade Posts: 9, Reputation: 3
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    #2

    Nov 18, 2012, 08:10 PM
    Honestly this article touches me. I went through the same thing with my grandmother for as long as I can remember. Some things she has done to me I will not even speak of and do not like to think of. I have been to multiple psychologists for help over the years and still suffer mentally from the things she has put me through. I still talk to her everyday, sometimes I manage to put the things in the back of my mind other days I can not stand to talk to her for five minutes but I still do and tell her I love her. I have asked my therapists and doctors why I do this and they say because I am better than her and I have a big heart. Sure it sounds simple and sometimes I want more than that, like closure but in all honesty she is a very miserable person deep down and has to live with the fact I am still good to her as evil as she has and can be. Even though you may not think your grandmother could possibly feel guilty she does deep down and hates herself. Also your father may not want to deal with it because maybe she did the same to him and he just doesn't want to remember or deal with it. Just put the past behind you and know who you are and it'll all work itself out in the end but do not hate her because in the end she is winning because when she dies you will feel guilty.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Nov 19, 2012, 06:24 AM
    We all have options, you don't have to live with her, You choose to right now.

    What does your father say, when you talk to him about this.

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