[maryellenjohnso]

My 4 year old won't eat anything but peanut butter crackers, granola bars and waffles and yogurt. I try to stay calm at meals, but just end up telling her to go away! Now thanksgiving is coming up and she will not even think about eating one thing at thanksgiving dinner. I don't even want her near me during thanksgiving dinner! What child doesn't like food and why? Please help!

[mikki821]

Well mabe she is not hungry. She just wants a little snack . Or she eats to many snacks. Well if that's it then tell her that she can have a lot of snacks and for her to eat dinner. And tell her how yummi the food is . Espeshilly on thanksgiving. If she won't eat then don't have a panic attack. Its most likley just a stage that some kids have.

[fragiel maske]

Sometimes children get fussy about food because they are unhappy about other aspects in their life that they can´t control, and they transfer that to their feeding times because food ("to eat or not to eat") is one of the few things they can actually control. It´s not about liking food or not, it´s about a child trying to regain some control in a world that somehow upsets him or her. This happens to many, many children.
Put yourself in the place of your four-year-old and think of what might be frustrating her right now.

And always remember: she´s only four years old and you are the parent! She has still so many things to learn, and there are many things she doesn´t know yet or can´t do yet. But you are an adult and responsible for her. You have the skills to read and ask for help, and try out several methods to find out how to help her. One of those things could be seeing a doctor or a pediatrician. But you have to remain calm ad have loads of patience, that is your duty as a parent.
Getting all worked up about it is the last thing you should do!
I´m the mother of a 1,5 year-old and I know it can be extremely difficult at times, but it´s the only way. Losing your temper will only make matters worse and will teach her wrong coping strategies, which you will regret later on!

And telling her you don´t want her near you is another thing that will only make it worse. Whatever she is going through, she needs to know that her mommy loves her. If you are already linking food to a loss of parental love, you might be paving the way towards eating disorders later on.
I don´t want you to feel guilty, I just want to stress the importance of dealing with this right.

So here are some things I would suggest to you:

1) See a pediatrician, who can reassure you nothing´s wrong or who can help you find out what is bothering your daughter.

2) Don´t make a fuss about Thanksgiving. It´s just a meal. If she´ll only eat crackers, well, then she´ll only eat crackers. Remember Thanksgiving is about being thankful, so focus on how thankful you are for having a beautiful, healthy child! And if you find a way to deal with this problem, step by step, then next Thanksgiving she might be eating fine anyway. Don´t dramatize, your child is more important than Thanksgiving Dinner!

3) Eat healthy food yourself, every day. In the end, she´ll catch on. Because you can tell a million times "eat this" or "eat that", but nothing works better in the long run than giving the right example yourself.


Good luck!

[Wondergirl]

I'm just finishing Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult, a story about a mom who discovers (at the end of the book) that her older daughter has an eating disorder. As someone said here, eating and purging are the only things she can control in her life.

Ask your daughter what she wants to eat for T'giving and supply that, or just have on hand her usual foods. Don't create a fuss over it. The more agitated you get, the more she will dig in her heels. My son at that age ate only hot dogs and bologna on white bread and Velveeta cheese and pretzels. He just turned 42 yesterday and is as healthy as a horse, will eat anything not nailed down.

[Silver Lining]

This is a problem faced by a lot of MOMs,, trust me, my daughter is among the worst. She doesn't anything that I give,, I have to force feed her,, I am told, that forcing is not the right way,, but what else can I do? I tried giving her a prize if she finishes her food, but ended up pulling my hair instead. Apart from chocolate, she eats nothing by will.
I have been trying this, it works sometimes,, give it a try,

Tempting-eat something and pretend its very yummy,, but don share with her,, do it several times with the same food,, she'l be curious, my daughter started eating carrot with my 1st try,

Prize-in a very tight glass jar, keep her fav snack. Ask her to open it. Let her try. Tell her you'l open it for her, IF and ONLY IF she eats what's in the plate. If you give it before she finishes her food, that's bribing, and trust me, it'l push you to the limits.

Reverse psychology,, ask her not to eat something (make it attractive). Worked only once with me,, this is a little risky,, because I was drying chili for pickle, my daughter ate it even after I asked her not to, since then, reverse doesn't work on her.

Ignorance-ignore her if shez cranky and throws a tantrum... refuse to give her junk all the time. Promise to give it to her as eve snack, if she finishes lunch. Let her cry as long as she wants. Initially, the 1st few days will be hard, she'l cry a lot. Ignore. Once she realises you don budge, she'l adjust.

Scare- show her some pictures of kids who are hurt. Tell her they fell and hurt themselves because they refused to eat what their parents gave. Take advantage of any movie, situation etc to your advantage. If someone cries, tell your daughter that the person is crying because her/his eyes are burning for not having proper food,, make sure your daughter doesn't talk to them. If someone is strong and jogging etc, tell her that person is healthy because they eat good food. This is working on ma daughter... so far...