[b4m2012]

It may be really common, but my stepson, who is 5 has this habit of lying about everything. Yesterday, I saw his 4 year old sister run into her room, the light was out, and I went over to see what she was doing because he was watching from the doorway. I turned on the light and she had a pen, and when I asked what she was drawing on, it took her a few minutes and then she showed me their younger brother's blanket. Before I even looked at it, my stepson said to me, "Brother wrote my name on his blanket"... keep in mind my younger son is only 2 and doesn't know how to write yet. I looked at the blanket, and sure enough, my stepson's name is written clearly (in stepson's handwriting) on the blanket in pen.
This is only one out of NUMEROUS times he has lied. Does anyone have any tips on getting a child to realize that lying is not acceptable? We have tried grounding him, time outs, washing his mouth out with baby soap (like a pea sized drop, nothing that would hurt him), pepper on his tongue... I don't know what to do anymore. It got so bad that he was lying about really big things, like saying my husband choked me, which never happened, saying we hit him in the face with a spoon when he had a knot on his head from running into a table at my parents' house... stuff that caused his mother to call cps on us. Help!

[Wondergirl]

Do you remember when this started with him?

I have a friend who is a teacher. When her son was the same age as yours, he would go to school and tell his teacher (also a friend of his mother) that his mom made him stay in a closet for hours every day after school. The boy's teacher confronted her friend, the mother, who was horrified over her son's lying.

When I taught preschool (4-5 year olds), several often shared with me unbelievable stories about their home life. Andy's dad's car could jump over other cars to get ahead in traffic. Sara's dad, a policeman, she told me, was regularly shot on duty (and maybe off duty). My own sons went through a similar phase of lying and thinly-veiled truths as they tried to astound and amaze their father and me.

I'm guessing this is a phase for your son, as it was for all the kids I've mentioned. As much as we hate it, lying and fibbing are part of a child's development as he individuates from his parents. Here's an article about this that includes suggestions for dealing with it.

If it's more serious and longer-lasting than this, then you will have explore other alternatives.

[b4m2012]

Thank you, it started about a year and a half ago. I hope it is just a phase. :(

[joypulv]

Lying is one of many forms of power that all children (almost all) test out in varying degrees. I think for most kids it starts with 'not me' (I didn't do it) out of fear of punishment, especially is there are siblings who can be blamed. Children learn how to lie, often from adults. I learned by snooping before Christmas and finding the presents that showed up under the tree from Santa. Ah ha, I thought.
Anyway, some theories say don't make a big deal about the ones that don't have dangerous consequences. And there's always positive rewards: go a day without lying and get double ice cream for dessert. Go a week is a movie or eat out. Get rid of it and start being treated like a young man with some decision making and maybe a small allowance. But don't tie it to rewards for very long.