[kagz86]

My boyfriend and I were together for almost a year. I recently discovered that he had not broken up with his
Girlfriend of 6 years yet he had told me he did. She was living in another country at the time and he said he would tell her about us if I just gave him a little time.I gave in and we went on and got pregnant.The girl came back and I found out she had slept at his place. He said he immediately told her the truth about us and the pregnancy and he wanted to work things out with me because he loved me so much and wanted to be with me forever. Two days later he sent me a text telling me to treat him as a friend( but not consider it a breakup) till he could finish things with her as she kept calling him but he wanted to be with me.I called him and told him I wanted to settle there and then but after promising to call back in a few minutes, he didn't and when I called him, he hang up on me twice then switched his phone off. I went to his place immediately and found him and his supposedly ex talking. She revealed that he had told her that I had never been at his place and that the baby was conceived after having sex with me one time. She translated that to mean that I trapped him. He did not tell her the truth about us. When she asked him to choose which one of us he wanted to be with, he said he was still in love with her. I left immediately. That night I called him because I wanted closure and he kept texting saying he wanted to be there for his child.He said he had been pressured into making that decision and that he had not been ready to do that.He tried to blame me for not being patient when he didn't call back.He said we would talk so I could get closure when he clears his mind since he has so many thoughts.Since then, he calls me everyday saying that he is checking up on me because he cares for me and he is concerned. Last night I tried to ask him why he kept calling and he said he would explain things to me soon so I could "understand and him and know what I need". What should I do? Why does he keep calling me? Should I force him to give me answers now so I can be completely rid of him?Should I let him be there for his child? I am still in love with him and him calling me keeps on confusing me.

[zolistardust]

Just get rid of him. He only wants you around for emotional benefits while he still acts free to do what he wants. Staying in contact and asking him why will only keep you attached and confused. And he will only tell you what you want to hear. Its hard to accept a new situation like this, but my boyfriend of 4 years that I lived with dumped me but starting the whole lets "be friends" b.s. and stayed in contact with me everyday all I had was questions and was hurting. But once I cut him off and reversed the situation by rejecting him, ignoring him I felt better and no longer cared, it's a process...

But you don't need to settle for his behaviour and be on his terms. Try your best to ignore him for 1 week then 2, and so on. Think of how bad he treated you and know the guy that was good has been replaced by this new persona. Best wishes!