[lemta]

Hei everyone... so this is my story.
I met him at a party. We didn't talk much, but every time he has the chance to talk to me, he talked. He finally asked for my number. After that, this is where all my world take a really big turn. He texted me the next morning, saying good morning. I didn't even remember who this guy was, but then I did, so I texted him back. He always sending me messages, and asks me if I wanted to see a movie... and all the time asking for meeting me. So, not long after we met, I knew that this boy actually like me, like me. After just our second movie night, we kissed. It was the butterfly in your stomach kind of kiss, which was wonderful and ill never forget, when he said "you're so sweet, just like sugar" haha this always makes me laugh. After seeing him after just a couple of weeks,. we did it and after that I wanted to make sure that we were together and not just messing about. So we were in a relationship. After just 12 days we've met! (I know its kind of fast) So our relationship were going really well, he was 24 and I was 18, and atm. I'm 19. I always think he's terrific because, I trusted him, feel save with him, and he is so independent. One day before summer, so it was 4 months after we were together, we had a conversation where he said that he wanted to have kids soon, before he's at least 28.. it was shocking for me cause it'll only be 3 years of freedom for me, if I've wanted the same thing. So I said, I wouldn't have kids until I'm 30 or something. After sometime...
I liked him so much, and I didn't like being at home, cause my mom and I doesn't really have a good relationship I was "kinda" living with him for over 1 month and a half.. we fight often... but I feel that our love grew stronger after each fight, little that I know.. it was just me. We started to fight all the time, and he wouldn't answer my messages after 6 hours.. or worse. We were almost 8 montsh and before my 19th birthday, that he finally said the words, he wanted to break up with me! Before my birthday! How cruel is that. So I said, if we can try once again. He wanted a more motherlike girlfriend I guess, so I cooked him dinner, after a week of "break". He came to my house, eat dinner with me, and then he said that he had feelings for me after all. So I felt quiet save again, and thought nothing bad was going to happen between us, I was ready to live with this guy and love him forever. But, I don't know why, I got mad at him, I think because he didn't answer my messages almost all day, and that I wanted to meet him. Then I wrote quiet awful things on the messages, but then he said. "I want to meet up with you, after school?" so, suddenly he can meet me? I knew RIGHT AWAY that he was going to break up with me. And HE DID... I was pretty CRUSHED. But the I said to myself that I won't be like other relationships were they say they want to be friends but they didn't.. we were texting still each other, everyday, and say good night messages. I didn't want to get over him.. but then one day I relised that I don't have any hope with this guy anymore. So I thought its okay if we had a cozy movie night together.. it was the biggest mistake in my life. He started to came on to me... so stupid of me to think that after we "did" it it was going to mean something... but he said that we are just friends... this is the most cruelest thing a boy can do to a girl, and I said to him "you heartless bastard!!" and the worst thing is that he replied: "i dont see what the problem is.." I don't know about you guys, but I think this is pretty cruel and just straight down manipulistic... I hated him, but I can't get over him if I hate him. I WANT TO JUST SIMPLY NOT CARE about him at all. But how the f. am I going to do this? PLEASEE ANYONE HELP ME! I think I'm so addicted to him, even after all he did I just can't get him out of my mind! Even though its only the bad stuff and a little of good memories with him... :sss