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tabitha2412 · Oct 31, 2012, 08:59 PM

I have been dating this guy for a few months and at the beginning of our relationship he was still with his babymama, bur he would always tell me how miserable he was and then about a month after dating he left her well ever since then she is still calling and blowing up his phone, asking him to come stay the night with her and wants him at her house constantly. I haven't met her or his son Bc I tell him I want situations to calm down first before doing so. But now I just don't know how to handle her constant calling and nagging I have no kids and he swears he wants nothing to do with her and he loves me and only wants me. But how do I handle the situation Bc I'm letting my feelings get the best of us and feel like I can trust him I just don't trust her. So what can I do to make myself relax or make situation better.

Wondergirl · Oct 31, 2012, 09:10 PM

You do realize she will be part of his life as long as this child exists, don't you?

There is nothing you can do to control her needs and desires and pushing at him. Of course, you can become friends with her, but am not sure what that would get you.

tabitha2412 · Nov 1, 2012, 08:17 AM

I know that she is going to be there that's not the problem its about her over stepping her boundaries knowing he has a girl friend and we are moving forward and she is still trying to push up on him me and her could probably not be friends but at least be civil around each other and even if she would stop calling so much about stupid things then we might be okay but I have never dared a man with a babymama like her so it does test our relationship and I'm trying to not give her what she wants and that's to run me off Bc then she will get what she wants.

Homegirl 50 · Nov 1, 2012, 08:50 AM

It is up to him to set boundaries. Obviously he hasn't. He was with you at the beginning while he was still with her, so he has no boundaries. He needs to handle his business. He is the problem. Decide if he is worth this drama.

tabitha2412 · Nov 1, 2012, 08:57 AM

I have told him that and he has done it so now we r trying to see if that works hopefully it does Bc we want to be together and don't want this to be the death of us and I normally wouldn't have dated him Bc he was with her and had a child but something told me to give him a chance and now we r both just head over heels and I do feel like he is worth it but I told him only to a certain extent, Bc I haven't said anything to her and right now I see that's his place to do so but if she doesn't get it eventually then ima say something but if it gets to that point believe me she's really not going to like me then

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

It is up to him to set boundaries. Obviously he hasn't. He was with you at the beginning while he was still with her, so he has no boundaries. He needs to handle his business. He is the problem. Decide if he is worth this drama.

Homegirl 50 · Nov 1, 2012, 09:11 AM

You have only been with guy a few months and he was cheating when he got with you and you obviously did not care or respect her place. Now you want her to respect yours.
Why would you stoop to her level and act ugly over a guy? That will not help, it will just make the mess messier.
The boundaries are for him to set and if he can't then you need to ask yourself if he is worth all of this foolishness.