[jheartwell]

OK, so here it goes. I am 22, she is 21. I met this girl a couple of years ago and I was taken aback by how pretty and outgoing she was. She had a long term boy friend at the time and we just used to see each other and say "hi " etc, but I always would think ah that girl is amazing.. so fast forward to March this year and we get talking again and it turns out she had broken up with her BF of 4.5 years about 25 days ago or something like that. The reason being she wanted time to be on her own and not feel the pressure of a relation ship and that one had just gotten too heavy for her and the guy had just forgotten to have fun any more. She had been drunk every day since then. I looked at her and I wanted to save her because I could see just how amazing she was and really just wanted to be in her company because she is was so infectiously happy and just really cool to hang out with.
I was pretty sure she didn't want a relationship so we just hung out like mates for about a month without me expecting anything or anything at all. We kept telling each other we liked each other when we were drunk and stuff but would never say anything when we were sober because it was too much of a risk because we were such good friends at the time. Until in mid April I mustered up the courage to tell her I really liked her and she told me she reciprocates that "like". In mid may we began becoming officially together. I wasn't sure if this was the right decision for her at the time but she seemed very happy and said that I "saved her" from a really dark place in her life and that she really does put that down to me. We are at college and she practically moved into the house that I lived in with my mates. This was brilliant and I had the best few months of my life. She had suffered from depression and an abusive relationship before me so I knew there could be unsolved emotional issues in the background but I choose to brush over it and keep going with this amazing relationship that we are now in. There were a few warning signs down the line like her not feeling happy with her appearance and not loving her self (even though she is stunning, and that's not just me saying that, she is totally drop dead gorgeous). But she maintained that she was happier than she has ever been so I carried on with it all because by this time I was totally in love with her.
Summer came and neither of us had anywhere to live so we decided to have a room together to save money and for company so we lived alone in a house to ourselves over the summer for like 2.5 months. This was amazing and just worked perfectly. It was perfect and we got on so well and just smoked weed and I did my dissertation over the summer and it was just brilliant.
After summer she is now in her third year of uni and I have graduated and moved 130 miles away, (a 2 hour train ride). Everything was going brilliantly and she even said about two weeks ago that the distance has made us stronger, which is lovely. She is having a horrible time at uni at the moment because she feels all her friends have left and that her house mates are being es to her for no reason. She feels alone at uni even though she does have a circle of friends to be with. So what we said about a month ago is that in January, the first opportunity for me to move back to her area and for her to get out of her house contract, that we would move in together which would be brilliant. Like not for the whole future just like on a 6 month contract and we just see how it goes from there. She seemed totally and utterly on board with this. Our relationship was nothing like I or her (so she told me) had had before and it was just perfect so I didn't see any problems here. Apparently she is much more affectionate with me than she has been with other boys and stuff so that was a really nice thing for me to hold on to as I thought despite us maybe getting into this too fast she really cares for me and sees that this isn't just a stupid little time with me it's the real deal. I loved that she would say I saved her from the worst time in her life. I felt so special and tried to make her feel special. Everything in our relationship was equal. We said (right up to like 5 days ago) how amazing it is that we love each other so much and so equally.
Now, like 3 days ago she says that she is having personal problems and she thinks that having a boyfriend at the moment may not be the best course of action. I pressed her on this and convinced her (and she agreed) that in fact it would be better to have me around because I am the one who is there for her unconditionally and will be as long as she wants me. This is the FIRST time I have put my all into a relationship and it felt amazing.
So, yesterday she goes to see her bi-polar mum and depressed sister at her mums house. Her sister and mum are still REALLY good friends with my GF's ex, to the point two days ago he took a cat off the mums hands to look after it for a while. I really don't know what went on last night at her mums or what they were telling her but she is now convinced she has too many personal problems for her to be able to give me the love I deserve. She needs "space" to straighhten her head. Now, these problems are not even clear, she says that her sister said she jumped into us too soon and always need to feel that someone loves her and her mum said that my girlfriend doesn't love herself so how can she love someone else. I'm not being funny but this is coming from two people that my girlfriend has always labelled unstable and not particularly sane in any way. She moved out from her house when she was 14 to get away from her mum and now she is taking advice on her life when her mum doesn't even know me very well, apart from I did her massive gardening a few months ago, which was so nice of me. I thought my GF was happy, or at least that our relationship was something in her life that was stable. Which it is THE ONLY thing in my life that is stable at the moment because I have just finished uni and my life is all up in the air to be honest. I was so looking forward to the possibility of us living in the same place in January and stuff and now its all blown up in my face. She was not the only reason I wanted to go back to that town because that's the place I have spent the last 4 years and now call home! She was scared that me and her are the only reason that I am going back there and that puts pressure on her and us, apparently. I don't know why we can't just go with the flow.
So, what should I do and how does this sound to you, Ladies? I need to know if you think its just her mum and sis that have gotten into her ear or its other things with her ex or I don't know. The thing is I don't want to ask her directly any of these questions as it will push her further away and make this even harder to get back. Do I just not contact her at all? Everything was so happy up until a few days ago so I really don't understand. I's sure the last thing she wants is to date other people, I just know that. Its something she has to deal with on her own but every part inside me just wants to help her. What do I do? I have just said to her I am going to give her space she needs but I am always here for her whenever she needs me. Don't know if I am being a mug though!
Thanks for reading all that (if you did) and your responses would be so much appreciated at this really difficult time. Its been therapeutic just to put it all down like this too. Any follow up questions I will be on my computer most of the day so just ask. Thanks again, J