[Gabberdabber]

I've been struggling with depression since 14. Sounds pathetic because I know a girl that age should know the world is in front of them I somehow got over the depression... Anyway, I'm almost 20 and the overwhelming feeling of self hatred has come back, more rapidly in the past 2 weeks. I'm not the type to ask advise about anything but I'm broke and can't go to a doctor because I don't have insurance. I think my job might be causing some of this but I'm not sure...

[joypulv]

There's nothing pathetic about it. Yes, there will always be people who say 'you are young, healthy, bright, and have your whole life in front of you blah blah' and I know that's awful to deal with. You probably wish you had something people could see, like a broken leg or a horrible medical condition. Depression isn't something you kick like eating too many cookies.

There ARE ways to TRY to overcome it, however. The Catch 22 is that when you are depressed it isn't easy to do those things. One is staying active, perhaps forcing yourself to walk every day. Deep breathing too, because depression tends to lead to shallow breathing, that means O2 isn't getting in and CO2 isn't getting out, and you feel tired, irritable, and depressed. Try being near a window or even outside just as dawn breaks. You may find that helpful. Sunlight is key for many depressed people (and everybody)!

Also tell us (if you want) about your relationships with family and any close friends?

You say it might be your job, so what about your job? You have been depressed long before the job, but that doesn't mean the job isn't depressing, so you tell us. Jobs aren't easy to come by these days, so most people struggle with ones they aren't exactly thrilled with, but they are more able to leave work each day and be happy, so they put up with it more easily.