[Soupquestion]

Many of my opinions differ from my girlfriend's opinions.

1) I'm largely agnostic. She's Catholic.
2) I'm liberal. She's conservative.
3) I'm an optimist. She's a pessimist.
4) I enjoy science and math. She can barely stand discussing them.

You know, as a couple, I feel it is important to be able to express your opinion to your partner. However, I also feel it is very important to accept your differences in opinions, beliefs, and ideas of your partner. Understanding that everyone is different and still loving them for it is something I try to define my life on. So, when differences in opinion arise, I largely just try to avoid conflict and step away. Of course, that often means I have to restrict my thoughts, feelings, and opinions from my girlfriend.

She's very emotional about the opinions I've listed about. And I find our relationship has become strained as of late with the coming Presidential Election.

She has very little political opinion, knowledge, or stance really on political affairs. As I've said above, I'm largely liberal. However, her parents are FIERCELY conservative. She has adopted her parents' political opinion despite having no research, education, or knowledge behind it. She blindly follows what her parents say (be it fact or fiction).

Somehow, her father has learned of my political opinion. And today, he yells at me out of nowhere. He literally busted into her room, and told me that if I voted for Obama (which I might), I am "blind, uneducated, ignorant, stupid" and that I "hate America."

Now, I stand silently, knowing speaking back against her father, especially in his heightened emotional state, would be unwise. When he's done talking, he walks away. I am mostly stunned, hurt, and confused. When my girlfriend decides she wants to speak after the long awkward silence, I tell her I don't want to talk about politics because it only makes people upset. The only thing I say is that I felt that outburst was uncalled for and out of nowhere.

Sharing her father's beliefs, but not his understanding (be it right or wrong), she tries to defend his words, reiterating the whole argument back to me. I figure, what the heck, I just got attacked once and I sat quietly, I can at least express my position on the matter with my girlfriend, right?

Nope.

She claims I'm attacking her parents beliefs. She claims I'm attacking her when I rebut her father's words because she doesn't know or have an answer to them. Suddenly, I'm the bad guy for trying to be politically educated and for having an opinion different than her parents.

I'm fairly certain her parents hate me for my political opinion. I'm fairly certain she hates me for my opinion on it as well.

I'm caught in an awkward place where I'm not allowed to express my opinion on things that are important to me (science, politics, etc) without upsetting her or upsetting her parents.

What should I do?

[talaniman]

You should separate and balance your need to express your opinions with the company and situations you are in.

If you know what causes problems and conflicts why do it?? Consider it a sacrifice of love, and make the right adjustments or get a liberal girl friend from a liberal family.

PS,

Conservatives are nuts! (So are we!)

[Soupquestion]

You should separate and balance your need to express your opinions with the company and situations you are in.

If you know what causes problems and conflicts why do it??? Consider it a sacrifice of love, and make the right adjustments or get a liberal girl friend from a liberal family.

PS,

Conservatives are nuts! (So are we!)

But I do care about her. When we don't talk about those things, we seem to get along fine! And even when she wants to talk about them, even if I'm strongly in opposition to those beliefs, I nod and continue on. Am I wrong to feel like a couple should accept each other, and if they don't on certain issues, they should try to avoid conflict over them? Or should a couple truly agree in all areas?

The latter sounds rather impossible (or at least completely unlikely). But I mean... should I really hold my beliefs so highly? Or should I just try to avoid these issues..

She just seems so confused about her true feelings on the matter sometimes BECAUSE she can't back them up. I don't want to leave her behind only to realize that she doesn't really believe them. She seems a slave to the beliefs of her parents because she was raised that way. Her parents were very strict on her. I feel like... if I back out on her, I'm abandoning her when she needs the most support to figure out what she believes, whatever it is.