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radupey · Oct 23, 2012, 05:40 PM

Recently me and my ex separated. We are (for the most part) on speaking terms. I understand his want to figure out his life by himself. I understand he wants his space, but his child pays for it. Not like she's being neglected or hurt in anyway. But she is only 2 and her mother is not in the picture. He works 70 hours a week and puts a lot of the responsibility of raising his daughter on others. His family most importantly. His mother watches her while she works and if she isn't either his grandma or 16 year old sister is. Most recently his friend M has been taking on almost the exact role I played. Basically replacing me. This is enabling him to continue to live in his monitary mind set, therefor not looking at the issues in his personal life until sh*t hits the fan, for a lack of better terms. Now where is my place in all of this? I cared for the child for the last 9 months and although I am not her mother I am still concerned not only for her emotional connection with her father, but whether he is risking her stability due to his own wants. I would love nothing more to be there for the father, my ex but at this time he does not believe, or is not willing to hear what I have to say. Although we do plan to revisit the relationship, I do not want him to sabatoge his daughters life. She is the most important thing. How can I either help or how do I move past this?

new2bmore · Oct 23, 2012, 06:44 PM

It sounds like your ex has some "abandonment" issues going on in his own life. It is easy for two people to make a child, raising and rearing that child is the hard part.

Look back into his own childhood, and you will see where this pattern begin. The pattern of the absent father, the pattern of placing responsibility on others.

God knows your heart, and I consider myself to be a very good judge of character, and based upon your own words, I find you quite credible.

The void that you ex has in his life, cannot be fulfilled by a child or a woman. This man is still yearing for the love, support, guidance, direction, teaching that can only come from a father figure.