[lexington90]

I'm sure there are a lot of stories similar with mine. I just want to know your personal experience of how you overcome your pain if you passed through something like this.
She is the only girl I’ve been with. I met her when I was 15, we were together for 8 months , broke up, and after a year we got back together. We were together for 3 and half years, but we broke up 3 months ago. To be honest during the last 6 months sometimes I was full of doubts and wondered if we were together because we really loved each other or just because we got used to it. I felt like this because every time I saw a cute girl I wondered how it would be like to date someone else. So in one hand I had this super lovely girlfriend who always treated me well, but in the other hand I was getting scared of the commitment of marring the wrong person without knowing what’s its like to date other people and have different experiences. I think that’s the reason why I became colder in the relationship and stop doing the things I used to do.
After she broke up with me because she didn’t feel the same and some fights, I started to feel depressed. But the real pain begun when I found out she was already dating someone else (two weeks later). I begged her and let her know how I felt about his new rebound dating. I apologized to her for changing the way I treated her, and promised her we would make things work. She wasn’t sure what to do but slowly she began to move apart from me. Finally after trying for almost 1 month I gave up, I read a lot of articles, a break up book, talk to friends anything that could help me feel better, most of them cheering me up in the short-term. Sometimes I felt peaceful but sometimes I felt like crap, big doses of melancholy. But I kept the No contact rule (no fb , twitter etc). Last Sunday (after 3 months of the break-up) I find out they started a relationship on fb. Now I feel devastated and back on day 1, remembering good memories, and thinking maybe it was my fault for stop trying on the relationship. I can’t stand how she doesn’t give a F if we dated for so long and now she is on another relationship shortly after. Also after the first breakup she started dating with someone else shortly after, maybe she just can’t be alone. I just want to move on but I find it very difficult thinking they are together doing the things we used to do.

Please if you have any advice that might help ill be very gratefull.

[Mommydear89]

Yon are right, there are many stories similar to yours. That doesn't negate the fact that your story brings emotion to you. Being with the same person for a long time is hard to get over because you did so much together that it's nearly impossible to find something that doesn't remind you of that person. She is dating so fast not only because she has issues with being alone, but because as you states you changed the last 6months of dating. You weren't the same person she fell in love with either. You started to have your doubts so try to focus on what those doubts we're triggered by. If you were confident with not being together up until she started dating someone new than your emotions are fuels by jealousy and that is completely natural. If you feel that you want to work things out again then you need to really consider her feelings about taking you back, again. You have to be entirely sure if what you're doing this time, being scared of commitment is a natural feeling that can be worked out together. Maybe you should take this time to date a few girls. Go to the movies or town event with someone new. Who knows? It may be the key in making up your mind. If you still feel like being with your ex is the better choice for both you and her then you shouldn't have a hard time reminding her of your love. After 3 and 1/2 years of dating you should know a thing or 2 about how to win her over. :) best of luck

[Schofimel]

Yon are right, there are many stories similar to yours. That doesn't negate the fact that your story brings emotion to you. Being with the same person for a long time is hard to get over because you did so much together that it's nearly impossible to find something that doesn't remind you of that person. She is dating so fast not only because she has issues with being alone, but because as you states you changed the last 6months of dating. You weren't the same person she fell in love with either. You started to have your doubts so try to focus on what those doubts we're triggered by. If you were confident with not being together up until she started dating someone new than your emotions are fuels by jealousy and that is completely natural. If you feel that you want to work things out again then you need to really consider her feelings about taking you back, again. You have to be entirely sure if what you're doing this time, being scared of commitment is a natural feeling that can be worked out together. Maybe you should take this time to date a few girls. Go to the movies or town event with someone new. Who knows? It may be the key in making up your mind. If you still feel like being with your ex is the better choice for both you and her then you shouldn't have a hard time reminding her of your love. After 3 and 1/2 years of dating you should know a thing or 2 about how to win her over. :) best of luck

I like this answer, it's helping me too, thanks :)

[Mommydear89]

I like this answer, it's helping me too, thanks :)

:) good, and you're welcome.

[lexington90]

'*

[lexington90]

Yon are right, there are many stories similar to yours. That doesn't negate the fact that your story brings emotion to you. Being with the same person for a long time is hard to get over because you did so much together that it's nearly impossible to find something that doesn't remind you of that person. She is dating so fast not only because she has issues with being alone, but because as you states you changed the last 6months of dating. You weren't the same person she fell in love with either. You started to have your doubts so try to focus on what those doubts we're triggered by. If you were confident with not being together up until she started dating someone new than your emotions are fuels by jealousy and that is completely natural. If you feel that you want to work things out again then you need to really consider her feelings about taking you back, again. You have to be entirely sure if what you're doing this time, being scared of commitment is a natural feeling that can be worked out together. Maybe you should take this time to date a few girls. Go to the movies or town event with someone new. Who knows? It may be the key in making up your mind. If you still feel like being with your ex is the better choice for both you and her then you shouldn't have a hard time reminding her of your love. After 3 and 1/2 years of dating you should know a thing or 2 about how to win her over. :) best of luck

Thank you, I guess you are right in that point. I appreciate your comment

[joypulv]

I'm not feeling so charitable.
'... every time I saw a cute girl I wondered how it would be like to date someone else... '

So you ruined what you had and now you can't stand the fact that she doesn't 'give a F?' Would you prefer that she signed a contract to let you date before she did?
Own up to the fact that this is your doing, and you have to accept the consequences.
Feel free to send her a card with a little note saying you are very sorry you made a huge mistake, you miss her, and to let you know if she ever wants to reconnect. She might be on the rebound, she might be happy, you don't really know.

[lexington90]

I'm not feeling so charitable.
'... every time I saw a cute girl I wondered how it would be like to date someone else...'

So you ruined what you had and now you can't stand the fact that she doesn't 'give a F?' Would you prefer that she signed a contract to let you date before she did?
Own up to the fact that this is your doing, and you have to accept the consequences.
Feel free to send her a card with a little note saying you are very sorry you made a huge mistake, you miss her, and to let you know if she ever wants to reconnect. She might be on the rebound, she might be happy, you don't really know.

Its true it might be my fault for having second thoughts, I know. But who doesn't at any point of your life (I tell you she is the only girl Ive been with, my intentions are good). I never cheated on her and Im proud of that. I wouldn't blame her if he just like someone else that's normal, but I just don't think its fair they are officially a couple shortly after the breakup. I think it's a matter of respect for the person you used to love and for yourself because its not healthy to even let a gap of time to learn about it. But that's just my point of view. But as you said it might be a rebound, or she may be happy, Its up to her right now.Thanks for your comment thought.