[blackice12]

I cannot help it but I am beside myself with jealousy with my two adult step daughters and their children I am fine with my step son . I also have adult children of my own and three beautiful grandchildren whom I adore my husband is a lovely man to soft for his own good. They ( his daughters) constantly ask for money then once they have it don't contact him for weeks until they need more I feel they just use him but sadly he doesn't see this. They both have partners of their own and I feel its up to them to support them not my husband I feel he is working to keep them all afloat finanacially. The are all always dressed in the latest fashions and are constantly buying new clothes/make up and having the lates hairstyles
I work full time myself and pride myself on being very independent so why can't they??
Am I right or wrong to feel this way.

[joypulv]

I won't delve into right or wrong, but I will say it's normal to feel how you do.
It's always difficult to mind our own business when there are so many fuzzy boundaries between what is just about us and what is about other people. You are married, and you and your husband presumably share many expenses. Therefore each spouse has a certain amount of right to ask to work out a 'discretionary fund' for each of you. It might be a % of income, or it might be a fixed dollar amount that is the same for both of you. But it's reasonable to tell him that you want to sit down and stipulate what each of you feels should be your 'own money' to do what you want with, and what goes to expenses, and what goes to future events and emergencies.
Somehow you need to keep the part about how his daughters use him out of all this, so that you can focus on solving the first part of the problem. And in fact, that part really isn't your business, beyond mentioning it once if at all.
I'm not sure where jealousy comes in? Do you wish he spent more on you, or at least tried to?