[luvmydog3]

I know it may seem small compared to many of other peoples problems. I find relationship problems so annoying because the easy answer is to just leave. In my case my "bf" (its hard to say that when I'm so hurt right now) is horrible to me. We have been together in a horrible relationship for a year. It is bad because we started dating at a time when his life was crashing around him. He is an alcoholic. He was basically forced to move in with me because he couldn't afford his apartment anymore. I don't want to say his career because I have such anxiety that someone might put two and two together and know him if they see this. In his field he is a little famous, I know its silly... that's why its called anxiety :) but anyway only when he works very hard can he make a lot of money, that is not the case for the past year because of the alcohol I believe. He constantly insults my life and calls me a loser when he is drunk. I can't kick him out because I've tried, he has no family and no where to go. I can't call the police because of a legal issue with his visa and its not worth sending him to jail for 6 months before being permanently deported. He knows he is wrong. He apologizes, but never fixes. Of course he has wonderful traits that you know would shine through if he could get control of his life, but I'm not here to pity him I'm here to get help on how I should be reacting right now. Long story short my life these past few months is horrible and tonight I was supposed to go to a halloween party... I never drink or go out. This party was not even going to have alcohol, but my close friends were going to be there and I was so excited for a long time. He is leaving tomorrow to attend to a new job for a few days a couple states away. So we were going to stay late plus I have work tomorrow. I got home from work tonight to get ready with him and leave and he is yelling at me that I'm going to beg for him back whenm he leaves and my friends are losers and I will need them to help me find a new boyfriend when he leaves. Long story short, never went to the party I was crying too much. This is very very upsetting to me. To top it off he went out to buy beer after midnight from a bar, and he ended up going to a friends house in which I do not even know this friend or where he won't tell me. So he goes to a friends... I don't go to my party because of his harassment.. and not I'm so angry I threw his clothes (not many of them exist anyway) outside the back lawn... and I've already cut up two shirts. I'm just shocked at his incosiderate selfishness. This has pushed it to a new level. Honestly I wish something terrible would happen to him he has ruined my life and owes me SO much money. I'm so depressed. Should I continue to wreck his things as he has wrecked everything of mine? How should I react? (cuz right now I would like something terrible to happen him)

I'm sorry this was long. I hope you can help my frustration :( and if I sound like I'm not very sad and hurt, I am... ive been crying lots tonight and I'm young twenties.

[joypulv]

The 'easy answer' is to just leave? What's wrong with that, when you are absolutely miserable? There are no children, no pressing reason why a young woman in her 20s should stay with a drunken freeloader. And who cares if he's a 'little famous' if he's broke and abusive?
You have a victim attitude. Several of your sentences claim that situations are beyond your control, when that's just not true - he didn't have to move in with you, and you can kick him out, and you can call the police. Stop making excuses. You say you just want to vent, but this is a Q and A site, not a blog.

[Emily Rae]

If he is that awful to you, who gives a crap if you call the police or kick him out or tell him to find his own damn solutions. You shouldn't have to look after him. You're incredible for putting up with it that long! Get him out of your life, you deserve better. Be strong, be confident, destroy things if you want to but get him out of your life and do it fast before he sucks you in deeper. You are right the easy answer is to just leave, so do it.

Emily Rae.