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    sonihunk's Avatar
    sonihunk Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 20, 2012, 12:48 PM
    I am now friends with my ex girlfriend! And I want her back!!
    Hi.I have been in an on and off relationship with my school friend who was my girlfriend. Finally last month we broke up permanently as my girlfriend got pissed of the fights and she said that we can never remain happy as a couple so it all ended.

    Now I am friends with her and she made it clear that we can never be back in relationship even though our friendship blooms out well. Now I still love her a lot and I want her back. I don't know how to get her back and what to do. I know many of you will say leave her but I truly love her and I want to try to win her back. We have just started talking over messages and its very superficial. I don't know how to proceed from here? :(
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #2

    Oct 20, 2012, 12:58 PM
    Leave her alone.

    It's really not a good idea to be friends with an ex if one of you still has hopes of getting back together. It sets you up to go through more hurt because you have that hope of things working out. She doesn't want it, you do... so now you act like this and want to try to win her back. What's probably going to happen is you're going to annoy her at some point and then even the friendship will be over.
    sonihunk's Avatar
    sonihunk Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 20, 2012, 01:29 PM
    But I want her back... and therefore friendship is the only option I have to get her back.I cnt make her love me again if I don't talk to her.. I just want some advice how to talk in such a way that she doesn't get anooyed and be comfortable with me once again so that I can approah her again :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Oct 20, 2012, 01:58 PM
    You can't guy, you can leave her alone and go about your business and be happy and get over her properly, but I doubt she changes her mind. Pretending to be a friend will only make you miserable and keep false hope alive.

    Sorry, but she will never even miss you if you are always around, as a friend. She will just move on, and you won't.
    sonihunk's Avatar
    sonihunk Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Oct 20, 2012, 11:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You can't guy, you can leave her alone and go about your business and be happy and get over her properly, but I doubt she changes her mind. Pretending to be a friend will only make you miserable and keep false hope alive.

    Sorry, but she will never even miss you if you are always around, as a friend. She will just move on, and you won't.

    Thanks for the reply... but I am really in love with her and somehow I just let her go.. I want to fix and mistakes and get back to her.. there must be some way I can get her.. I have already gone no contact with her for 1.5months... she says I didn't treat her well... I was her best friends before relationship... there must be some way where I can correct myself and we can get back together!?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Oct 21, 2012, 05:48 AM
    She has made it clear, so be miserable, watch her date others and try to stay her friend.

    Tell her she can not have it both ways, you can not just be a friend and want to try to make it work.
    But no you miss her, your own words, it is because of all the fights, the relationship was not working, she knows it, you just won't accept it
    sonihunk's Avatar
    sonihunk Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 21, 2012, 08:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    She has made it clear, so be miserable, watch her date others and try to stay her friend.

    Tell her she can not have it both ways, you can not just be a friend and want to try to make it work.
    But no you miss her, your own words, it is because of all the fights, the relationship was not working, she knows it, you just won't accept it
    I know.. and I want to correct it.. resolve the fights,go for her.. get her back.. I know it sounds desperate.. but I really love her... and I know saying "i love u" won't win her back.. all I want to know is how can I get her back.. there must be some way cas I have heard lot of girlfriends come bak to their ex... I need help :(
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Oct 21, 2012, 09:42 AM
    They come back because they want to, and sorry that has noting to do with what you do. Your part my friend, is to keep your dignity and self respect, and not act out of desperation,or false hope.
    sonihunk's Avatar
    sonihunk Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Oct 21, 2012, 12:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    They come back because they want to, and sorry that has noting to do with what you do. Your part my friend, is to keep your dignity and self respect, and not act out of desperation,or false hope.
    I know,that's why I texted her her that I don't feel a thing for her now and I want to talk as a frd,she happily agreed and said she wanted the same.. so you saying that I should just move on and not hope that she comes back.. mayb you are right.. she never will.. neways thanks a lot!

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