[heartbroken11]

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. A month after we met, I moved in with her parents. A year and half later, we move into my parents, then after a month, we decide to get our own place. We’ve been living together for only a month now.

When we first moved in together, I noticed that I’ve been having a lot of anxiety attacks and I’ve been taking it out on her. And a week ago (just jokingly) I said "I know I’ve been crazy lately and if you don’t want to be with me anymore I understand" and she said "I’m not in love with you anymore".. I wasn’t being serious at all but I guess she was hoping that she wouldn’t have to be the one to bring it up. So we talked about everything and broke up a few days ago. But then got back together because she said she wanted to try to see if we can still be together. But then we broke up again yesterday and got back together because everyone kept telling us to just give it one last try.

I don’t know what to do because she’s not making any effort to be with me. I’ve been showing her a lot of affection and telling her I was going to take her out and make her feel special but I feel like it’s just not going to work anymore.

I love her more than anything and this makes me really depressed and heartbroken. I need some advice. Should I just let her go and see if she comes back? Or should I stay in this relationship and keep trying to make things better?

[Wondergirl]

If she isn't interested, I don't know how you think you can stay in a relationship (what relationship?) and make it work -- unless she is willing to go with you for couples counseling.

If she isn't willing, let her go and do No Contact.

[heartbroken11]

I feel like there's more to what she's telling me.. like the reason why she doesn't love me anymore..
She said she'll be with me and try to make it work.. but I don't know anymore. One minute I feel like I should move on.. and the next minute I'm crying because I don't want to lose her. I'm stuck

[Wondergirl]

i feel like theres more to what shes telling me.. like the reason why she doesnt love me anymore..
she said she'll be with me and try to make it work.. but idk anymore. one minute i feel like i should move on..and the next minute im crying because i dont wanna lose her. im stuck

She is prolonging the agony. Does she really want it to work? Doesn't sound like it, and she says that so you won't feel so bad. (It's what we women do, unfortunately. We hate it when people feel bad.)

Can you "force" a concrete statement from her? A firm "Yes, I will try" or "No, it's over"?

[heartbroken11]

Every time I asked her if she wanted to try, she says "yeah" in the softest voice.. and the first time we broke up I asked her if she's only staying with me because she felt bad and she said yeah. But sometimes I feel like she still wants to be with me. She says little things like "i dont want you to get that haircut".. as silly as that sounds, I feel like that means she's planning on being with me.

I don't want you to feel unconfortable.. but I'm a girl too.. so it kind of sucks because us girls get pretty emotional when things like this happen.

[Wondergirl]

she says little things like "i dont want you to get that haircut".. as silly as that sounds, i feel like that means shes planning on being with me.

No, that's habit.

Don't lie to yourself to justify her comments. Listen to what she is really saying and how she is acting, her body language and facial expressions.

[Homegirl 50]

She wants out, leave her alone. Stop pushing at her.

[heartbroken11]

I'm not pushing at her anymore. I'm going to see if she really wants out. And if she does, ill let her go.. but I won't wait for her to say it.. if I notice its really not the same, ill tell her how I feel and ask her to move out.

[Homegirl 50]

So now you have decided that you will leave. She has told you she wants out. You both need to stop playing games. She says yes, she wants to leave and yes, she is only staying because she felt bad. What more proof do yo need?Talk to each other and make a decision.

[heartbroken11]

She left. She packed her things and left last night. I'm doing OK, but I'm just hoping she'll come back.