[Redrum03]

We moved in together after our first year and that's when my feelings for him began to change. He was great to live with but when we argued it would feel like I was a caged animal, I would want my space to cool off and calm down but he wouldn't let me leave the house he would tell me I wasn't going anywhere until we talked, I can understand communication is key in a relationship but I felt like he wouldn't respect my space by letting me cool down instead he would keep in the apartment until he was okay. Our arguments got so heated at one point I ended up hitting him and that's when I knew I couldn't be in the relationship anymore... I've NEVER hit someone before and felt extremely awful for my actions.. I told him it wasn't healthy anymore. But being in the relationship confused me so much because he would be this caring and loving person that would do anything for me but when we argued he was a whole other person. I couldn't handle it anymore and broke up with him. He didn't think I was serious and asked him to move out, he did as I said but the next day he wanted to "talk things out"... He told me he would change and to give a chance. I thought about the good person he really was inside and decided to ignore his other side and forgive him a second chance, unfortunately things were the same and had to call it quiets for good. I know deep down it was the best decision for the both of us but why do I feel so bad for breaking things off? He's giving the guilt trip and keeps telling me things will change. I keep thinking of the wonderful person I met and doubt myself sometimes. What is wrong with me? I know for a fact our relationship become unstable but why do I have this feeling of regret? Has anyone gone through this?

[JaeBeam]

I feel confident somebody will chime in that has gone through something similar.

In my case, I was the person on the other side of the argument from you. Our arguments never became physical, however.

It doesn't sound like you had a safe, solid way to communicate difficult issues to each other. If the two of you couldn't get communication down, you aren't going to be able to figure out what the root issues are that were causing your arguments.

You have these feelings of regret because you just lost something you valued very much, your best friend. It sucks. I was dumped and my ex just emailed me saying how hard it was to not have her best friend around. That really has my head spinning today... making it difficult to continue to try and move on.

[ItsNotImportant]

You have an anger problem if you hit him. No problem deserves violence, if you're a mature woman you should understand that cooler heads prevail. The fact that he kept you locked inside is his wrong, he doesn't understand your emotions and ultimately I would guess that's why the arguments got louder. You can't control yourself, he can't control himself.. you know the rest. If only ONE of you tried to control their anger, you may have found it easier to get things resolved.

You gave it a second chance, it still didn't work between you two. It's for the best by the sound of it. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I had an ex that I had a similar issue with, and I understand you. Sometimes, you need to take the blame too, accept the lesson and just move on. Don't have any regret. Do work on that anger though, you're a human being, with a brain, not a caged tiger.