[autumn1101]

Hi everyone. My boyfriend of two years has within the past 6 months or so, been frequently rejecting physical contact from me. For anything from a hug to a sexual advance he will give me a dirty look, bark at me to leave him alone, push me away, or all three. I'd say at this point I have about an 80% rejection rate. I could just chalk it up to him being uninterested in being physical, but he IS interested... when I am not. It seems as if he is MORE interested when I am not. If I say I do not want to, he will guilt trip the hell out of me until I give in, and has even forced himself on me a few times. There have been one or two times where he forced himself on me so hard that I was hurting for days. However, the times that I (used to) want to, he would say absolutely not and walk away. I am so very confused by this behavior. I have tried to talk to him so many times about it, but he says either he has no idea what I am talking about, or that I always ask him for hugs, kisses, cuddling, sex, etc. at bad times (I've tried at various times, and still--rejected). It's to the point now where I am afraid to even try to hug or kiss him; it hurts too much emotionally to be pushed away so much. Does anyone have any ideas as to what is going on here? Is this some sort of weird control thing? Is there anything I can do to make things how they were (lots of mutual interest)? Thanks in advance for your answers.

[armywife3512]

I wouldn't put up with that crap period there are so many men out there that will treat you like a Queen! You should never settle for anything. Sounds like an abusive relationship that you need to get out of ASAP! The longer you stay with him the more he is going to take advantage of your body! Don't put up with it!

[Rize]

I don't think he really loves you. He is using you. You can deny it all you want and come up with plausible reasoning, but it won't change the truth.

1) not everyone arehow they seem in the beginning. People change and it's a common fact of life the sooner you accept it the better

2) don't fool yourself into thinking that you can change him or waste your time by trying to change him

3) this is not the best you can do I know you have so many past memories with him that's going to make you confused on your decision to leave or not but honestly it's just memories get over them you will find better and I promise you that there are better you won't know that until you try. Everyone thinks this way for now.

4) the fact that he can guilt trip you shows how weak you are and probably how weak you will be in making the decision to leave.

5) what he did to you was rape

Sorry if I come off too strong but just think about what you've written here and really analyze the situation you can come up with the answer even without our help

Your relationship is over and has been a long time ago

[Rize]

How can anyone who actually cares or loves you like that can hurt you both emotionally and physically.

Huge red flag.

[J_9]

It's called RAPE. Get out now before it gets worse.

[Fr_Chuck]

Agree, he is raping you and emotioning and perhaps physcialy abusing you.

Run and get away form this as fast as you can