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AsherBlu85 · Mar 15, 2007, 12:35 PM

I have a little issue. Im with a guy now and we've have dealing with each other for about 4 months and haven't done anything yet. I want to because I haven't had sex since October but Im scared to have sex with him because I want someone who is experienced and can blow me out but I don't feel there 100% when it comes to him. Kissing is my because I am a very passionate person and he can't kiss. I can teach him but its not the same. That's what get me started. I don't want to be shallow about this and he's so nice because wants it just like I do but doesn't make a big deal out of it. Word up, he's something like what I've been praying for too. I don't know. What do you think is going on inside?

JacintaBlue2004 · Mar 15, 2007, 12:45 PM

I Think If You Really Like This Guy You Will Take The Time To Slow Down And Show Him What Sex Is All About... teach Him Not So Much As In Verbally But Physically Teach Him... take His Hand And Guide It Places... get On Top And Show Him How You Want To Be Sexed... but Girl If He Continue's To Get All F's You Better Throw Some D's On That...

Fr_Chuck · Mar 15, 2007, 01:02 PM

I think he deserves someone better, that is not selfish of their own needs,
And yes you should ever so shallow.

Even on "experienced" people, the idea is one has to tell the partner what is good for them, not all people like or respond the same

tishee_76 · Mar 15, 2007, 01:43 PM

Hee Hee
Hi Asherblu85
I think the words "blow me out" might've offended Fr chuck..

But selfish or not we all got to look after our own, even in the bedroom!
Can't agree with shallow either because you mentioned this is the type of bloke you were praying for..

So...
I can offer you this, no one or relationship is complete without faults..
My relationship is full of every wonder and splender to imagine... and we both suck at the financial thing...
Some days it does my head in! But I'ld never walk away bcos of it.. We just try,try,try again!
I must say you picked a much better area to have to practice on than my relationship... HAHA

Most of all
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth..
And always... always be careful what you pray for..
You might actually receive it!

You have fun now you hear!

AsherBlu85 · Mar 16, 2007, 06:38 AM

Thank you Tishee_76 for holding me down. I understand about faults and all of that. I know I have some and I can speak on mine without a problem. Thank you though. FR_CHUCK. First let me say this much... Thank you for you outake on sex life. Imglad to see how quickly people can responsed in such times of confusion and distress. You opened ONE of my eyes. On the other hand, don't talk to me like that. I know Im not shallow a damn bit. Its not just about my needs CHUCK, I know its about him too CHUCK, I understand that in a relationship there is compromise and all that other stuff. But since you know me so damn well &feel as though Imselfish, PLEASE PLEASE help me make sense of this. LOL. Nah, Im good though. Im not leaving him at all. We're just going to work at this. CHUCKY... when I finally have relations with him, I'll be sure to let you know how it down.

tishee_76 · Mar 18, 2007, 06:31 AM

Mmm.. I reckon youl have no problems sorting this one out.. Sounds like you got two feet solid on the ground.. Knowing what you need and want doesn't make you selfish in my books..
And even though freebird1981 agrees with chuck, the comment of enjoying to get to know each other being fun is right on..
Especially when it comes to the bedroom..
A healthy sex life makes other areas of your relationship a little easier to talk about as well..
Anyway you said he was being good about the situation so sounds like you two have some fun memories ahead of you..
Best wishes babe..
See you round the traps..

tinsign · Mar 18, 2007, 06:57 AM

I was not even going to answer this post but decided too anyway
First you are not happy with the sex part of the relationship (you have already pretty much decided that ahead of time.
You are not happy with the way he kisses you
The only thing I have heard you say positive was that he was a good person, well!
Please do this man a favor as well as yourself let him go find someone that excepts him for who he is.
We all have our good and not so good qualities as nobody is perfect ( not even you hun)
Maybe this man just needs a loving woman to help him along as he probley has not had a lot of practise ( which I would have took over someone who has slept around) I don't think however that is what you want, I have not heard you say that you meet his needs one bit.. all I have heard is YOU YOU YOU... LET THE POOR MAN GO

tinsign · Mar 18, 2007, 07:00 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I think he deserves someone better, that is not selfish of thier own needs,
And yes you should ever so shallow.

Even on "experienced" people, the idea is one has to tell the partner what is good for them, not all people like or respond the same

I would have worded it a little more gently but yes I do agree she should let him go so he can find someone who will not be so critical of him

AsherBlu85 · Mar 18, 2007, 06:16 PM

Thank you for your responses. Honestly even though I thought some were a little harsh the truth is the truth. I though about it and I was being a little critical and we talked. I want to make a public apology to FR_Chuck for being too defensive. You're entitled to that and TO AN EXTENT, I agree with you. It went a little deeper than I actually explained but I have looked a this from outside of the box forcefully because of the comments and I approach the situation differently. Tinsign, I know I have faults I stated that but as a woman( and Im assuming you are I didn't get a chance to look at your profile) Im just trying to feel good too. Sex isn't everything. Communication should play a big part as well but when it comes to sex I want to be satisfied. IM NOT LETTING HIM GO. He's my man and we're going to work this out. I thought that I was going to get a variety of ideas on how to confront this instead of being judged. I am not a bad person. I just want to be happy but on the up and up, despite the turn this started taking, I was helped. Thanks

362100119 · Mar 18, 2007, 06:20 PM

I would do him anyway lol...

Fr_Chuck · Mar 18, 2007, 06:27 PM

Please do forgive If I come across harsh at times, I have about 10 seconds to make a point in a post, past that most don't read it anyway.

So often I speak directly from my heart, the way it seems, I am not always right of course and do offend at times,

And as you get older you will find sex and passion while nice and have its level it is not the real binding situation in life is communication and really caring for each other.

AsherBlu85 · Mar 18, 2007, 06:30 PM

Thanks

tishee_76 · Mar 18, 2007, 06:41 PM

Good on you chuck!
I reckon shel be grateful for the 10secs you spared for your apology..
I know it impressed me!

I have found in my relationship the communication and respect we share in our friendship generally branches out to the other areas in our relationship.. giving any issue a head start due to great talking skills..

Because were all different our priorities of importance in our relationship is different so sex might not rate high importance but for others, bedroom manner is a much needed stimulant!

Glad to see you found an option to work in your situation AsherBlu..