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    imaria's Avatar
    imaria Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 29, 2012, 08:18 PM
    Guys perspective please...
    Would like a guys perspective please. A male friend of mine who I was romantically involved with for a short time about 2 years ago is now dating someone new and has been for about a year and a half. When he and his girlfriend were newly dating, we had been at events together and would casually chat, etc (occasionally I would look up and find him just watching me). At one event, he came up to me on the dance floor and starting danced with me. After a short time, I tapped him sort of as an indication to walk away. It was awkward for me with her new girlfriend there. At one function (they were dating about 4 months) he said he wasn't ever going to get married. His girlfriend was sitting next to him. I'm not certain if she heard his conversion. Well, it's 18 months into their relationship and they are still together. They go to family events together, friends outing and parties together, etc, etc.

    I don't see him too much lately but miss him and think about him at times. Trying to figure out with gives with his girlfriend. He is in his late 30s. Would a guy date a girl for this long with no intention of a long-term commitment? Need help understanding the thoughts of this.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Sep 29, 2012, 08:42 PM
    There is no one answer for all guys.

    Many will be OK with a long term dating, but they do not want to be married, and may not even want to live together. Someone over a few nights a week for sex, is one thing, but they want personal and private space. I know several men who are like that.

    Others will say that to a girl, if she is not the one he wants to spend long term with. That is his excuse for sleeping with her but not marry her.

    So yes, he may date this girl 15 years and never get married , if she will date him that long
    imaria's Avatar
    imaria Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 30, 2012, 07:05 AM
    He is very respectful of her. If friends make some joke about her when she is not there, he defends her and at times has gotten upset about it. I do believe he cares about her. This is what has me confused. As he includes her in family functions, friends outings, etc and cares about her, it leads me to think it's more than just a sex 'thing'. If I get you correctly, all of this does still not necessarily mean he wants a long-term commitment with her? Thanks for responding.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #4

    Sep 30, 2012, 07:35 AM
    When he made that statement they had only been dating 4 months.
    I don't think he would make that statement now, and if he did perhaps she does not want to get married either but they enjoy being with each other. Not everyone is in to marriage.
    imaria's Avatar
    imaria Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 30, 2012, 08:01 AM
    Homegirl50... I'm assuming you are female. No offense, I think like you. Hence asking for guys perspective.

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