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    annabellejean's Avatar
    annabellejean Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 25, 2012, 11:57 AM
    Should I tell my daughter her dad is not her bio daddy
    My daughter is 16 and I was pregnant with her when I was 17. Her bio father was never in her life. When I was 1st pregnant I wanted more than anything to make it work with her bio father, but he was not interested. He was constantly going to jail and when I contacted his family to see if they wanted to see my daughter and he found out he threatened to kill me and I was terrified of him. After I realized he was not going to be apart of his child's life, I signed a court document that I will never ask for the states help to care for my daughter and I do not want any child support from him and I never heard from him again. Her dad as she knows has token care of her since birth. Those times when we were teenagers and struggling it was her dad that figured out what he was going to do for food and diapers. It is her dad now that is buying her 1st car. It was her dad that cried for her when she was sick.. My daughter often asks me if she is adopted and if I am her real mom.. It's like show knows something is not as we say it is and its gnawing at my heart, what have I done :( I love her so much we are so close she's my world I would die if she hated me for not being truthful.. What should I do?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Sep 25, 2012, 12:19 PM
    She's going to need to know soon, like in the next few years... because of family history for medical reasons...
    annabellejean's Avatar
    annabellejean Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 25, 2012, 01:41 PM
    I will pray for the wisdom and strength for that day when I tell her, but any advice as to how I should tell her.. I need help with this difficult part of my life.. Any words of encouragement are greatly appreciated..
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Sep 25, 2012, 03:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by annabellejean View Post
    I will pray for the wisdom and strength for that day when I tell her, but any advice as to how I should tell her.. I need help with this difficult part of my life.. Any words of encouragement are greatly appreciated..
    I've never been in that position... so I'd rather let someone else that has comment there.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Sep 25, 2012, 05:15 PM
    This should have been explained YEARS ago. Probably the first time she asked about being adopted. By not telling her the truth, you have made it harder.

    I would go to your local library and ask the librarian to recommend any books dealing with this situation that can help you figure out how to tell her. But DO NOT dealy, it is long past time.
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