[JayneHampton]

My husband had a brief (5 weeks) affair and now the woman has twin boys. I want to know what she has entered on the birth certificate as I believe her husband has started divorce proceedings. She has contacted my husband and told him that they are nothing to do with him but I don't believe her, I think that she only told him this as we had reconciled when she contacted him. This is tearing me apart. My husband has stated that he wants nothing to do with these children, he says that he wants me and the children we created only.

I know that there are people who will tell me I'm an idiot for giving him a second chance but we had been married for over 20 years without any previous infidelity and I believed that he was truthful in his regret for the affair.

Am I entitled to get a copy of the birth certificates to see what this woman has entered as the fathers name.

[JudyKayTee]

My husband had a brief (5 weeks) affair and now the woman has twin boys. I want to know what she has entered on the birth certificate as I believe her husband has started divorce proceedings. She has contacted my husband and told him that they are nothing to do with him but I don't believe her, I think that she only told him this as we had reconciled when she contacted him. This is tearing me apart. My husband has stated that he wants nothing to do with these children, he says that he wants me and the children we created only.

I know that there are people who will tell me I'm an idiot for giving him a second chance but we had been married for over 20 years without any previous infidelity and I believed that he was truthful in his regret for the affair.

Am I entitled to get a copy of the birth certificates to see what this woman has entered as the fathers name.

I don't know where you are - in my area you cannot get someone's birth certificate without legal need for it. At the moment you don't have a legal need. The name on the birth certificate matters little. The results of DNA testing do matter, and that's the next step if you want to know if the father is her husband or yours. Keep in mind that if these are his children she can file for child support until the children are no longer entitled to receive support - and that in many States is following College.

In some States the husband is the presumed father by virtue of the marriage.

The shock to me isn't that he had an affair and fathered children, now the mother wants no part of him, he is back with you, he is sincerely regretful for this transgression. The shock to me is this: "My husband has stated that he wants nothing to do with these children, he says that he wants me and the children we created only." Who does he expect to support these children? The woman's husband? The taxpayers - courtesy of the State?

I, quite frankly, am appalled that he intends to father children (in or outside an extramarital affair) and plans to walk away. Your husband thinks it's "fair" that the woman's husband, the man she was cheating on while sleeping with your husband, should support children who are not his?

I'd be more upset by the "not my problem" attitude when babies are involved than the cheating.

I'm an investigator. I have found two types of cheaters. One makes one mistake, it never happens again, he confesses out of guilt. The other gets caught confesses, and becomes a serial cheater.

Only you know in which category your husband belongs.

EDIT: I now realize this is not the first time you've asked a question about your husband and his affair(s) - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ty-634412.html

[AK lawyer]

OP's husband can get a copy of the BC if he is shown as the father. OP is obviously not on the BC and therefore has no right to a copy.

[JayneHampton]

I don't know where you are - in my area you cannot get someone's birth certificate without legal need for it. At the moment you don't have a legal need. The name on the birth certificate matters little. The results of DNA testing do matter, and that's the next step if you want to know if the father is her husband or yours. Keep in mind that if these are his children she can file for child support until the children are no longer entitled to receive support - and that in many States is following College.

In some States the husband is the presumed father by virtue of the marriage.

The shock to me isn't that he had an affair and fathered children, now the mother wants no part of him, he is back with you, he is sincerely regretful for this transgression. The shock to me is this: "My husband has stated that he wants nothing to do with these children, he says that he wants me and the children we created only." Who does he expect to support these children? The woman's husband? The taxpayers - courtesy of the State?

I, quite frankly, am appalled that he intends to father children (in or outside an extramarital affair) and plans to walk away. Your husband thinks it's "fair" that the woman's husband, the man she was cheating on while sleeping with your husband, should support children who are not his?

I'd be more upset by the "not my problem" attitude when babies are involved than the cheating.

I'm an investigator. I have found two types of cheaters. One makes one mistake, it never happens again, he confesses out of guilt. The other gets caught confesses, and becomes a serial cheater.

Only you know in which category your husband belongs.

EDIT: I now realize this is not the first time you've asked a question about your husband and his affair(s) - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ty-634412.html

Hi
I apologise that what I didn't previously mention was that my husband has told this woman that he will contribute financially when he has proof that they are his, I think that I did say that she told my husband that they were nothing to do with him. I certainly don't want this coming back to bite in years to come so I'm trying to explore options now to determine if he is financially obligated as this obviously affects my children. I think it's unhealthy to assume anything without full facts.

[JudyKayTee]

Hi
I apologise that what I didn't previously mention was that my husband has told this woman that he will contribute financially when he has proof that they are his, I think that I did say that she told my husband that they were nothing to do with him. I certainly don't want this coming back to bite in years to come so I'm trying to explore options now to determine if he is financially obligated as this obviously affects my children. I think it's unhealthy to assume anything without full facts.

I agree - if she has said that the children are his he can go to Court and ask for DNA testing. The birth certificate is pretty much useless (other than being interesting). I'd rather ask for DNA testing and know than not know and live with a sword over my head.

If he is the father the whole issue of being a "Dad" also will come into play.

Sorry if I was harsh with you - I thought he just intended to walk away.