Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    salutelaflaka's Avatar
    salutelaflaka Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 19, 2012, 03:03 PM
    Nervous break down about getting married in jail.
    I don't know what to do. He's been my boyfriend since I was 14. I am now 18. My boyfriend is in jail and doing a couple of years. We have been wanting to tie the knot for a couple of months before he got locked up, we were engaged since I was 17. His bright idea is to get married in jail now. Should I? I'm all nervous, I have a knot in my throat.

    Although we were already living together and everything was perfect until he got incarcerated, people that I know have convinced me to try to leave him talking about how he would be different when he gets out. We have to live our lives. He just wants to rush me because he's in there, and another had said he's just wants to make sure we are official or what not.


    Honestly I don't know what or who to believe. So this is why I I'm posting this question, I want to know the opinion of someone who I do not know, what should I do?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #2

    Sep 19, 2012, 03:11 PM
    Convince him that you want a nice wedding ceremony, outside of a jail.
    He's worried about you being attracted to someone else. Maybe he wants conjugal visits.
    You may get distracted, you may not, but don't get married now.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #3

    Sep 19, 2012, 03:20 PM
    Getting married now is a mistake... tell him you need to wait.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 19, 2012, 03:22 PM
    I vote no. You want your friends and family at your wedding. You want it in a church or some special place (not a prison/jail). He may change during his incarceration, so you need unmarried time with him after his release to make sure he is still the same guy you love.
    salutelaflaka's Avatar
    salutelaflaka Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Sep 19, 2012, 03:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Convince him that you want a nice wedding ceremony, outside of a jail.
    He's worried about you being attracted to someone else. Maybe he wants conjugal visits.
    You may get distracted, you may not, but don't get married now.
    He wants both a outside and inside ceremony. He says we shouldn't let what he's done stop us from what we have planned. My answer was you should have thought about it. However, I do believe he feels insecure, he stated if I really love him like I say I do that I would do it. Honestly I wouldn't mind but I do not want to be used in anyway , although I highly doubt he would ever. Maybe its just these people trying to minipulate me. There opinions are honestly really confusing me =/

    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    Getting married now is a mistake...tell him you need to wait.
    Im starting to think so too, thanks :)
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #6

    Sep 19, 2012, 03:30 PM
    He said, "if you really me love me like you say you do, you would do it." Then you say, "if you really me love me like you say you do, you would wait until you are free."

    Marrying someone in jail is not a memory I would want to carry through the rest of my life and tell my children about.

    Don't want to do the time and all the restrictions that go with it? Don't do the crime.
    salutelaflaka's Avatar
    salutelaflaka Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Sep 19, 2012, 03:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    He said, "if you really me love me like you say you do, you would do it." Then you say, "if you really me love me like you say you do, you would wait until you are free."

    Marrying someone in jail is not a memory I would want to carry through the rest of my life and tell my children about.

    Don't want to do the time and all the restrictions that go with it? Don't do the crime.
    Your right. I do love him and all that mushy stuff but I don't think we need to rush this. If he does love me he will wait and if we are meant to be nothing should go wrong,

    As long as I'm there I guess that's all that matters. I guess this just puts a pause to our relationship so I can finish getting my life together, although he was helping me out. But I can do it on my own, we don't need conjugal visits. As long as I'm there helping with emotional support :) , thank you everyone I was literally going crazy thinking about this. =)
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #8

    Sep 19, 2012, 03:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by salutelaflaka View Post
    As long as im there i guess thats all that matters. I guess this just puts a pause to our relationship so i can finish getting my life together, although he was helping me out. But i can do it on my own, we dont need conjugal visits. As long as im there helping with emotional support :) , thank you everyone i was literally going crazy thinking about this. =)
    Hugs to you. You are smart to wait until he is out and has shown himself to be responsible and having self control.
    salutelaflaka's Avatar
    salutelaflaka Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Sep 19, 2012, 03:55 PM
    Hugs as well:) thanks. I will wait although I will feel a little guilty for the fact that he had gotten incarcerated because he was defending me. Makes me feel a little bad. But I guess its best for me.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #10

    Sep 19, 2012, 03:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by salutelaflaka View Post
    Hugs as well:) thanks. I will wait although i will feel alittle guilty for the fact that he had gotten incarcerated because he was defending me. Makes me feel alittle bad. But i guess its best for me.
    What had happened?

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Getting married in jail? [ 7 Answers ]

I want to get married with my boyfriend who is in jail, and his charges are domestic violence, and he has 5 years of probation, and he can't be near me. Is it imposible for me to get married with him, and drop his probation. Edited/T

When a doctor giving you pain meds and you have a nervous break down over your son [ 8 Answers ]

Death and go into a mental hospital and get help and then they tell you they can't give you the meds that they have gave you for at least the last 10 years and they tell you that someone in the office has theatens them if he the doctor gives it ( the meds) to you. Then they won't write them and...

So, yup. She wants a break. She is nervous about us and is not sure why. [ 9 Answers ]

I'm sure I'll get all the same answers I read about other peoples breaks on here but sometimes it just feels good to write about it. I am twenty seven and have had about 4 girlfriends in my life, each of them lasting about a year or less. Three months ago I started chatting with a girl I've...

Getting married in jail [ 2 Answers ]

Hello everyone I need help with something!! My boyfriend is incarcerated in Allentown PA we are about to have our second child together and I want to get married, but I am having a hard time finding a person that will marry us in a jail can anyone help me or give me advice please... :confused:

I'm a nervous break down right now [ 2 Answers ]

I've been in a mental break down. Me and my boyfriend broke up Monday but I haven't stopped crying. I love him so much but he doesn't seem to care. He just wants to be friends but I want to be more than just friends. I truly love this guy but I don't know how to get him back. He was a perfect...


View more questions Search