[rln3274]

I am 56 yrs old, divorced for 17 years with a 19 year old son who has decided to not have me in his life. When he was younger 2 through 14, we used to have a blast going to arcades, movies, parks etc... He had an eating problem... only eating carbs ( bagels, goldfish etc) . By the way, a bad breakup with the ex.. both she and I not doing a great job... It seems like I wanted to be more of a friend than father in the beginning but later on when he was about 15, I changed and diciplined him more. In addition, I spoiled him and stopped that at the same time... The ATM is closed... All he comes to me for is money ( like his mom) He was Bar Mitzvah'd and both his mother and I kept his $$ for college which is what we used it for. He said it was my responsibility to pay for college and still asks for the money ( every 6 months via text).
When he was young, I tried maybe too hard to get him into sports... not in a big way, but to just have a catch and he was not at all interested... perhaps I tried too hard for that...
Bottom line, He ignores me and sometimes laughs when he sees me. I do pay for college, his health insurance and child support... ( never missed a payment ()...
Very sad and frustrated...
What do I do next?

[joypulv]

Even the best parenting can result in belligerent teens, teens who ignore you, teens who only want money, teens who hate your guts.
They are testing every inch of their power as they struggle with turning into adults. They feel out your weaknesses and play on your guilt over divorce or how you parented. You don't sound like a bad parent (unless he was caught in the middle of the grief of breaking up when he was 2, but he probably doesn't even know about most of it). Discipline, sports, this or that, try not to look back at what you did or didn't do right. Somehow drop tiny clues that you just plain love him and will wait. And show some sense of yourself as father, adult, and man, with pride in yourself and in him. Don't just react to his silly behavior; he doesn't really know what he's all about yet.
Eventually he will appreciate you, I think - not every kid does, but most do.

[Homegirl 50]

Let him know that you love him and are there for him, as a dad, not an ATM. Suggest he get a part time job to supplement his spending.
Hopefully he will grow out of this behavior